Saturday, March 22, 2008

Biernes Santo

 

Natapos na an gabos na pabasa

Sa barangay ngonyan na Huwebes Santo.

Maimbong an huyop kan duros,

Nag-aagda sako para maglamaw sa turogan.

Sa harong na malinig, mahalnas, makintab,

Naeenganyar akong maghurop-horop nanggad

Kan gabos kong nagkagirinibuhan—magpoon

Kan nag-aging Biernes Santo kan sarong taon

Asta ngonyan—penitensya ko an maihatag sa iba

An gabos na maitatao—boot, bu-ot,

Kapakumbabaan, pag-intindi, pasencia,

Kasimplehan, pagtiwala o kumpiyansa

Libertad, leyaltad, kusog, kalag.

Mahigos an isip kong maghurop hurop

Kan sadiring sala. Kaya dawa dai pa ngani

Nakabayad nin income tax—mayong tawong

Mamimirit na singilon ako kan sakong moroso

O ano pa man na kautangan ta an mga ini

Binayadan na—ako binalukat na

Kan sarong tawong nagsakit, pinasakitan

Ginadan—haloy nang panahon

Sa Kalbaryong sakong dinudulag-dulagan.

 

 

Bitoon, Jaro, Iloilo

Good Friday 2008

 

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Sa Mga Huring Aldaw kan Marso

Sa mga huring aldaw kan Marso, maimbong na an paros hali sa bukid kan Buyo—minahugpa ‘ni sa mahiwason na natad kan eskuwelahan abot sa may parada, asta magsabat ini kan maaringasang duros hali sa baybayon kan San Miguel Bay sa may parte nang kamposanto.
Sa panahon na ini, duros an makapagsasabi kun ano an mga disposisyon kan mga tawo sa Bagacay—kadaklan sainda mahayahay, an nagkapira trangkilo sagkod maboboot, pero an iba man maiinit an pamayo ta kulang—o minsan sobra—sa karigos.

Kun ika tubong Bagacay, pamilyar na saimo an mga pangyayari sa palibot kan sadit na banwaan na ini—an kasiribotan, an kariribukan, o maski ano pa man—aram aram mo na an mga likaw kan bituka kan mga tipikal na ka-barangay. Mabibisto mo an kakaibang parong kan duros, mamamati mo an aringasa sa tinampo ta bantaak an saldang. Mabibisto mo man an korte kan niisay man maski na ngani nagdadangadang pa sana siya sa tinampo, ta an amyo kan tunay na buhay mahihiling sagkod maiintidihan mo sa lambang istoryang ini.
An aking daraga sa kataid na harong na nagpasuweldo sa Manila maduang taon na man bago nakauli giraray—mapution na an kublit pag-abot ta an tubig sa Nawasa halangkaw an chlorine content—nom! Dai na lugod nabisto kan kaklaseng nagdalaw sa harong ninda. Sa Martes ang balik ko sa Kuba-o. mabait naman ang mga amo ko—pinapasine nga ako pag Sabado, kasama ko ang kanilang matuang babae. Let the Love Begin nakita ko si Richard Gutierrez saka baga si Angel Locsin, pangit man pala siya sa personal. Nom! Nagtatagalog na! Pag sinisuwerte [o minamalas] ka man nanggad talaga!
An mag-inang parasimba nakaatindir pa kan pagbasbas kan mga palmas. An mag-irinang hali pa sa Cut 12 [basa: kat dose] mapasiring sa kapilya sa boundary pa kan Iraya para duman mapo’nan an entirong pagpangadie sa mga santo. Linakad kan mag-irina an mainiton na tinampo hali sa harong ninda antos duman sa malipot na baybay harani sa kapilya. Nag-uurunganga pa si mga ibang aking kairiba ta pigguguruyod man na yan kan relihiyosang ina. Bara’go pa man an mga bado ta iyo man an ginaramit kan mga eskwela durante kan closing sa eskwelahan—alagad muru’singon na an mga aki
An mga aki kan mga mayaman na pamilya sa may pantalan nag-uruli man. Tulong awto an dara pero dai pa nanggad kumpleto ta si tugang na abroader dai nakahabol sa biahe haling airport. An dakulang pagtiripon kan pamilya madadagos ta madadagos nanggad maski na ngani hururi an ibang miembros kan pamilya. Hain na daw si mga makuapo na nag-ayon sa mga ralaban sa UNC; o si sarong pinsan niya man nanggana sa arog kaining contest sa Colegio. Haraen yan! Padirigdiha lamang daw ta mag-iristorya kan saindang mga maoogmang nagkagirinibo. Ay, iyo, hay, magayonon an trophy sa UNC. May kwarta man ni, ano? Hahahahaha! Iyo man po. Thanks very much and I love you all and gabos ini po saindo, Lola!
Igwang bayaw na nag-uli hali sa siyudad—an agom na iyo an tugang kan pinsan may darang ba’gong omboy na primerong pakadalaw sa mga apuon. Napoon pa sana man an duwa sa pagpapamilya kaya padalaw dalaw pa sa mga magurang kan esposa. Cute-on baga si baby, hay? Sain mo ni Manay pinangidam? Cute-on. Bebe, bebe… O Rosalyn, nuarin na an bunyag ki Nonoy? Imbitari man daw nindo kami, puwede man pating magtubong si Dorcas! Saen na ngani si apartment nindo, Glen? Sa Calauag baga, bakong iyo? Itukdo mo ki Lino tanganing aram niya pagduman. Iyo po, Ma.
Igwang mag-ilusyon na dai makatios na dai magkahirilingan ta si urulayan sa Katangyanan dai nagkadaragos ta pinugulan si daraga kan inang may hilang.
Maski an sarong tiyo-on na igwa pang kulog boot sa mga sadiri niyang tawo ta dai sinda dai nagkairintidihan sa kontratang pinag-urulayan, magkakaigwa pa siya nin panahon para tapuson an ika 14ng altar na portrait kan Mesias—na nagpapahiling kan pagdara kan bangkay ni Mesias sa lubungan ni Joseph kan Arimatea. An mga materyales na ginamit para sa abaanang magagayon niyang obra maestra dinonaran pa man hali sa simbahan kun sain siya lektor. An taon-taon niyang panata napapadagos nin huli sa huyo kan saiyang boot, sa pagpangadie niyang daing ontok, nagngangayong dai man lugod pabayaan nin Kagurangnan an saiyang pamilya na ngonyan nagdadakula na ta an saindang maboot na manugang-agom kan mahigos niyang matua—maaki na kan saindang panduwa. Siisay pa man daw an mas masuwerte sa mga tawong ini?
Nagsisiribot an sarong pamilya sa Banat ta iyo an toka ninda sa prusisyon sa Via Crucis, maharanda ta mapa-basa—mapatarakod nin kuryente sa mga harong na igwang mga linya nin Casureco, para dayuhon an pabas[og]. Aaaaaaa, si Eba natentaran kan demonyong halas kaya kinakan niya si prutas kan poon na ipinagbawal ni Bathala. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, kaya an gabos na tawo nagkasa-la-la-la. Daraha na daw digdi mga salabat sa nagbabarasa-kansubago pa iyan! Aaaaaaa….
Sarong gurangan na kantorang taga Iraya, na agom kan sarong mahigos na Cursillista—sinubol si mga aki niyang daraga para magkanta sa Via Crucis magpoon sa kapilya antos sa Calle Maribok dangan pabuwelta—alagad atakado an pamayo ta dai magkakurua kun haraen na an mga daraga. Haraen na sa Imelda? Si Belinda? Pasugoi na daw ta si mga aki duman, iwaralat mu’na digdi. Ta diputang agom yan ni Belinda! Nagpaparainum na naman sa may ka–Tampawak? Ta kun ako pa an mapauli diyan sa bayaw mo, titibtiban ko talaga man nanggad yan! Mayo na sana man maginibo pakakatong-its, mainom! Susmaryosep! Noy, paulia na ngani si Manoy mo! Sarong parasira pagkatapos niyang magpangke—mala ta nakadakul sinda kan bayaw niya kansubanggi—sa may tanga’ sagkod sa rarom sa may parteng Caaluan sagkod Tinambac—nagdesider na mag-pasan kan krus sa Via Crucis. An solterong ini haloy na man nagsisigay-sigay sa aki ni Balisu’su’. Pero korontra baga an sadiri niyang tawo ta diyata gusto man nindang makahanap nin trabaho ini sa Cavite. Dai man ngani nag-anom na bulan baga—nagbuwelta ngani ta garo nagkairiyo na man sagkod an maputi-putting aking daraga ni Balisu’su’. Ano man baya an nahiling mo diyan Polin sa aki ni Tsang Sining? Bados na gayod si Joralyn?

Ciudad Iloilo, Abril 2009

Life With America

The music of Dewey Bunnel, Gerry Beckley of the folk group America has affected my sensibility all these years. Playing my pirated copy of their greatest hits has not failed to amaze me and for life, I think, it won’t.


Inspector Mills
The unnamed cricket in this song has been my and Nene’s friend ever since. In the ‘80s, I and Nene had great time listening to such sound when Manoy Awel played the song to lull us to sleep because Mama would arrive later in the night because she still worked in her father’s house that hosted Cursillo classes, a three-day Christian renewal made famous to most Catholics through her father’s and his family’s efforts. What else was there to say? We couldn’t ask for more. It was just fine even if Mother was not there when we slept. We were lulled to sleep in my dear brother’s bed. Though I never saw the cricket in my dreams, I had something else that made me just sleep on it. The cruel nights without Mother were with one tender brother, Manoy Awel.


Special Girl
One particular Jenny would come to mind whenever I played this ballad during my board work as disc jockey in FBN’s DWEB-FM back in 1996. Once I knew one special girl. And I must have played this song many times for her—without her knowing it— without her knowing anything at all. What did I do? As if I could ever tell her anything when we worked together for the English department’s pathetic newsletter. Or that something mattered more than the verses which I’d hand to her after Rudy Alano’s class. In fact, nothing special happened in that lazy afternoon while Enya’s Shepherd Moons played in the DevCom laboratory. How could she ever know?


I Need You
I never liked this song. I never wanted to listen to it; I always skipped this cut. The funeral tempo makes me paler. It embarrasses me to no end. “Like the flower needs the rain... you know I need you.” As the song goes on though, in times when I could not help but not skip a shuffle setup, things start to make sense. The second voice sounds clearer and it’s the one I’d hear. The voice spells my detached involvement in the dismal situation presented by the singer. And the litany of “I” needing “you” simply fades senselessly. After engaging me to listen to one heart’s song, it drops me nowhere. This song is the ugliest in the album.


Sand Man
Since the day my college buddy Arnold Pie sang its lyrics—“Ain’t it foggy outside…” then the mention of the “beer” in the song—which must have reminded him of something in his young drinking life, I became curious about the song. But the slow introduction hasn’t appealed to me much; my illogical prejudice against anything unfamiliar because it’s something Western did not at all help me appreciate the song. One day after we found out ourselves that we’re working again in the same corporate complex in Pasig, I realized we have yet to have these unconsummated “bottley” and bubbly sessions—for some issues in the past that were never addressed, the time when we badly needed each other’s company but never did because we could not. Either we had no time or did have much of it.


You Can Do Magic
When cousins Shiela and Achie mastered the steps and strutted and danced with verve and grace in one of our reunions to the tune of this song, I was amazed by such a spectacle. They even knew the lyrics. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, and “when the rain is beating upon the window pane and when the night [it] gets so cold and when I can’t sleep, again you come to me, I hold you tight [and] the rain disappears; who would believe it? With a word, you dry my tear… You can do magic… You can have anything that you desire…” The show of my cousins just went on, and it’s still going. Now, the London-based Achie, an overseas nurse, just cannot help but do magic with her work; all her toil and diligence are simply paying off. Her generous earnings now can indeed help her have anything that she and her folks desire—new car, new house in the city, and hundreds of euro-pean possibilities for her siblings.


Right Before Your Eyes
My cousin Jokoy—who has adored anything Western from Vanilla Ice to HBO to Michael J. Fox to Sean Connery—knows the lyrics by heart, or at least the “revolving doors” part. We used to listen to it in Bong’s room in Naga, which he then acquired when his Ania Bong went to Manila. Of course, the Life pictures of Rudolph Valentino flashed in my mind, and Greta Garbo stared at me like there’s no tomorrow—a haunting photograph of one celebrity whom I hardly met. I scowl at the thought that I could hardly relate to them. I have yet to live a diamond life like them to simply live. Though no other memory follows, “do- do-do-do-do makes much sense. And emotion? Er.


A Horse With No Name
Effortlessly, I imagine the Assembly Hall of my Ateneo High School, where I picture the city, the sea, and the horse finding itself after being freed by the person who rode him. The original radio version—and not the live version—renders more sensibility. I also sing along this one of the longest codas to date—la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la” “After nine days, I let the horse run free ‘cause the desert has turned to sea.” There were plants and birds and rocks and things…” and many other things. I have yet to see these hundreds of things which I have long thought as an overachiever in high school. I have yet to free my own horse, though my deserts have long become oceans of uncertainties.


Never Be Lonely
This is my recent favorite—my pirated anthology is a rare find because it has this cut. When I was younger, this was hardly played over the local FM radio stations. My cousins who had the LP because their father was an avid fan would know better. “Got you by my side, I’d never be lonely; got you by my side, I’d never be afraid.” Never be lonely tells me that I am. I even once sang along accidentally, “Got you by my side, I’d rather be afraid.” This after realizing many times how relationship with someone makes you feel more alone than being literally alone. The song is a futile attempt to avoid being sucked into an emotional vacuum.


Tin Man
The impressive introduction plus the cool mumbling of brilliant lyrics prods this genius composition. Of course, I hardly knew the lyrics especially—tropic of Sir Galahad, soap sud green light bubbles, oh, oh… Oz never did nothing to the tin man”—“ but the tempo, the music is enough for me to like it. And adore anything that went with it, including all subconscious memory it reminds me. The bubbly keyboards at the last part— plus the na na na na na simply define how life is beautiful. Yes. It’s amazing how ignorance [of the lyrics, of artist’s realities] makes you know too much [of your own, which are more essential things].


Sometimes Lovers
“Sometimes there are teardrops across your face; sometimes there are rainbows in the same place… I don’t which way to turn.” “Lovers hiding in the covers of innocence and pain. No love, no pity in this town.” Of course, Jokoy always festered me with this relationship with Anna, one that mattered to him more because he did not like her for me. Or he preferred other girls for me. This sad song is sadder because I just cannot seem to relate to it because a certain Maria cannot just be it. After hurling the worst and best curses and cusswords in the world which tore both our hearts because they were swords that lashed out at our souls, nothing just seemed to matter more but ourselves apart, not ourselves together. The bridge—hold on tight… oh, oh, oh—makes everything more intense—“I will lay beside you till the night is gone…” when? When? When? Sometimes, indeed the song makes you think of many other things, such as not being able to forgive yourself for anything you’ve done. And you just stop loving. You stop caring for anything. Something just dies. Something just happens abruptly as the final beat of the drum.


Daisy Jane
The plane is leaving. My Dulce Maria knows the setting so well. The lyrics she even braved to articulate to me and relished with me because she liked the song so well. And I think they were accurate, every time she’d leave me in this sordid city for her cozy Iloilo home. “Does she really love me I think she does. Like the stars above me, I know because...” There’s not much to say on these, because she’d left me many times in the airport. “But the clouds are clear and I think we’re over the storm…” And I just gave in many times that I have gotten used to I see her off every time she did. One time I did not. I did not choose to. I had reasons and I did something else after that. “Daisy I think I’m sane. And I guess you’re ready to play.” I did something that indeed made her leave. Since then, she has always left me every time.


Don’t Cross The River
Yes, I can hear the river; it’s burbling; and I can’t help but row on it. “There’s a little girl out lying on her own, she’s got a broken heart.” “She knows and plays it smart.” The drums and the guitars are the water streaming down the gorge so fast—in cadence with my heart—racing past something like a void, racing past a cracked rock serving no definite purpose comes any tide— high or low. I have always raced with something— perhaps a memory all the time. But never the present reality. The past always has a way to catch up with me. And I am always sinking, but I keep on singing, “don’t cross the river if you cant swim the tide…”


Ventura Highway
The road that one man traveled was paved and the day before him was too long—the sun stood long hours. The freeway was a winding road, a blind curve. Later that day he was killed around the bend. It was a wrong turn. He never came back. Where did he have to go? After all the numerous places I traveled and chose to travel, I have yet to see this one highway. After all those persons I have been given chances to meet, I have yet to find someone important who will have to make me see. Whatever happened to the father whom I never had, the one who would have rather told me that I can “change my name,” or the one with whom I can share some “alligator lizards in the air”? I have yet to meet him. One fine, long day.


Lonely People
The guitar introduction thrills me to no end. The low vocals—“this is for all the lonely people, thinking that life has passed them by”—never allowed me to know why I was literally lonely in those days after my mother died. I desperately listened to it in the afternoons when I was jobless and desperately seeking any work that would pay—after my scholarship’s graduation stipend were depleted, spent for mailing my essays and poems to Manila-based magazines, that never even saw much publication. Writing never did pay, and that time I hardly knew that it didn’t or that it could. “This is for all the single people, thinking that love has left them dry.” Yeah. What could be more heart-wrenching than being ignored by one Anna who could hardly care about how I chaliced her. Nothing follows. The guitars, keyboard, and the dismal vocals just had to fade. Please.


Muskrat Love, etc.
Unimaginable characters which could have just existed in my mind—never a reality—thus the vague memory. Does the character look like Stuart Little? Ben? Why is Sam skinny? Is Susie fat? Does it matter if she is? For one, I can’t care much. I can hardly relate. My other favorites “Stereo,” and “The Border” are not in my disc while “Jody” “Only In Your Heart,” “Sister Golden Hair,” “Woman Tonight,” and “You, Girl” have yet to present my own realities to me, if any.





Sunday, March 09, 2008

A Good Year

 

It has been a good school year.

 

After some ten months of working and being with my high school students, I cannot help but look back to the good days.

 

Nothing has been more remarkable than the days lived with eager, wonderful students who made me realize a lot about many things. These are some of the many things I will not leave behind— these and other stories I will not ever trade for any other value in the world.

 

The Sapphire students whom I “advised” [I was their adviser for some two quarters, substantially] are a good, growing lot. Led by their president Ann Marielle, the class have already been lauded by their subject teachers who just find them easy, light and manageable.

 

For one, Sheena’s bubbly attitude complements her classmate’s love for humor. If at all, Sheena has enjoyed the mango float given by the class for a job well done during the Do Day—after tirelessly cleaning the classroom for almost a day, she and her classmates Kay and Pearl, to name a few, did not deserve anything less than that sumptuously delicious treat which they themselves prepared. Talk of being and acting out of [a strong sense of] independence—or more aptly, responsibility.

 

Along with the other boys, Ruzzel, Elton and Albert have all been a good part of the Sapphire team who have exuded the bright aura every Monday morning. This figured well especially in the flag ceremony leadership which was lauded by the school director, Dr. Biyo herself. I know the best is yet to come for them.

 

I appreciated my junior student Femm when she consulted me through a text message on a particular term in her Research paper. I was enjoying the Dinagyang night when she texted me, asking for the right word to use in her report. I was flattered that this junior student from Palawan counted me in as her dictionary. Fair and kind, she must have been flattered when I told her in front of her classmates that she has been very disciplined in my English class.

 

Meanwhile, I have always considered Femm's classmate Leonard’s amiable and warm company fairly enough to properly set the mood of the Lithium class. Along with the rest of the boys, his light and smiling face has not failed to set the best mood for the rest of his classmates. Perhaps one of the tallest boys in the batch, his optimistic countenance cannot simply go unnoticed, especially in his senior year.

 

Ever since I got to work with the scholpaper’s editors, I have always known Mark to have the critical eye. The boy’s meticulousness was confirmed to me by Mr. John Siena, Mark’s previous adviser who now works as superintendent in Sagay City. When we didn’t hear Mark’s name announced in the regional contest for editorial writing, I realized then that the boy is fit for some other, loftier things. He must have taken the editorial writing skill to heart, that in no time he rewrote his contest piece on Consumer’s Rights Act for the schoolpaper issue. He surely deserves an award for such an effort.

 

I am equally happy for Cynthia and Sofia, Mark’s fellow editors who laboriously took to editing the many articles of the schoolpaper. Though I could just be apologetic to Sofia in learning that her front-page article was “murdered” in the press—there is perhaps no one to equal Sofia’s enthusiasm to finish the work she is assigned to do, given the time constraints and a whole lot of other workload.

 

Their fellow senior Cynthia, meanwhile, is one success story—what with her all-out smile when she was cited for her outstanding performance in feature writing in the Punta Villa regional writing tilt last December. I relish in Cynthia’s newfound skill as she should be lauded for the two substantial feature stories—the school gym article and the coach’s story—that must have made the school aware and feel more privileged for such two blessings.

 

Also, I will remember the generosity of spirit of one Zeke, a Manila-born freshman who sustained the odds of being in a new environment, eager to learn new things and share life with his new found friends. Zeke’s politeness and composure have always amazed me to say that the boy is very well ahead and well prepared to undertake bigger tasks in the future. I believe he will do well and he can pull through.

 

Among other things, these are only some of the many stories—call them blessings—which I cannot trade for other values in the world. The days with my junior, senior and freshmen students will not be forgotten. I am sure they are here to stay wherever I go. As long as I live.

 

After some ten months of working and being with my high school students, I cannot help but look back now in regret. Regret because I do not intend to pass this way again—regret because I am finally calling it “quits”.

 

After all, it has truly been a good year.

 

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

How Public Like a Blog

I love blogging. It is my new found way of communicating especially now that I am away from my family and my familiar friends.

Even now with my new found friends in Iloilo, I make blogging count as an indispensable means of connecting with people, and staying connected with them in the truest sense of the word.

I maintain accounts in multiply, friendster, flickr and flixter. There I post pictures of the past—family photos, workplace, graduation, wedding, etc.

Now with my newly acquired, hard-earned digital camera, I post photos more often than I did in the past. Aside from having them published in the local dailies, I post online film and theater reviews, solicited and unsolicited commentaries on pressing issues, or just about any article I wrote.

Blogging has been a way of life for me since 2005, ever since I came to know friendster and began to love its wonders of communicating fast. It is soothing to know every single day—whenever I get to check my account, my contacts, or just about anyone online, have read my posts. What more can I ask for than reading the replies of my cousins, my high school students and even long lost friends, who found me on the net. They would reply about an old photo which I scanned and made available online, or an article which I have revised.

It is more wonderful to know that at least one person gets to visit my multiply site. I make it a point to attach photos with the text so that any reader would have one more reason to look it up. I also post pictures with social relevance. I take pictures of poverty in the marketplace, old age, and stuff like them. “Stark Realities” I call them. But these photojournalistic projects hardly elicit Internet surfers' attention—perhaps because they appeal to their conscience. These pictures incite pity in them or make them uncomfortable. Maybe, images of the poor and the underprivileged make them do something about which they cannot do anything significant.

Among the things I post online every now and then, the most number of visits would be in the family photos. For a set of photos in multiply.com, which I titled, “Portraits” or “Reunions” or “Bonds” or “Nonoy Mi” (Bikol phrase meaning Our Dear Son, Brother, Cousin), I have gotten almost 40 replies from my siblings, cousins and anyone else who viewed it.

As human nature would allow it, my friends online—brothers, sisters, cousins, etc.—usually reply to the posts about them—certainly not about my own privations and personal writeups.

Once I wrote an epic-length poem about my own hometown barangay Bagacay—one of my cousins was so moved that he wanted me to post more articles of that kind. My cousin Glen knew very well the Bagacay I was talking about--the sights and the sounds my words created evoked in him his own Bagacay experience.

Also, on my grandfather Clemente’s death anniversary, I wrote something about him—though I hardly knew much about him, except for the stories in the family which I recollected. My sister, brother, and cousins were so touched that they gave rave reviews and comments below it to the extent that they would want to read more about my other lolo—my maternal grandfather Emiliano “Meling” Saavedra.

I am amazed at the thought that—in the past, we would play taraguan [hide and seek] in Lolo Meling’s backyard from afternoon till dusk—never aware that one day we would really "find" each other somewhere else. Despite the fact that we “have gone everywhere” or “chose to hide” from each other, Internet and blogging--like the one I’m doing now--has been the best way for me to find my cousins and stay close to them.

Internet for me has been a way to preserve whatever family values I have retained—the phrase “family solidarity” for which my mother Emma is known to all of us, her children. As my sister Nene has cited in one of her online replies, she is so grateful to the Internet for keeping us together despite the distance between us. Especially she finds it so useful now that she has chosen to settle down and has started her own family now based in Bagumbong, a sleepy district bordering Caloocan City.

I cannot help but cry at every moving reply posted by my siblings or cousins online—about how they remember events in the past or how memories swell into them at the sight of the particular pictures I post. For every posting that my friends read and replied to, I feel a strong sense of fulfillment. I believe I get my good message across.

Homecoming, things in the past, and the like are my favorite subject. I write about and take pictures of the past. Not just because it is how I as a family member could recollect for myself the innocence I must have lost through the years—but also because through it, I and my siblings and cousins come together. Online like this, we share something which is hard to forget—in so doing we come to share ourselves. I am happy that when we do, that is simply unforgettable, especially now that we have gone everywhere.

If in the past, clan reunions would only happen during December or when mother’s youngest brother Uncle Tony arrives from Saudi Arabia, Oman, etc., now, a familiar company is very accessible in one click of the mouse.

Companionship is never a luxury anymore—I can easily reach family at my fingertips. With Internet—I, Nene, my brothers and my cousins—can be together, especially now that I am very far away from them. With blogging—with Internet and with all the wonders of digital technology, I connect with my family and friends in no time.

Online they get to know how I am faring. How I am doing. Online they get to know that most of the time I am not doing well. Online they get to know that, just like the Internet signal, most of the time, I flicker.

       

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Outstanding Performance

Very Well Done, Scholars!

 

 






Cynthia Grace dela Cruz,
Runner-up, Feature Writing, English







Edgardo Severino, Jr.,
Runner-up, Sports Writing, English

Geb Roj Baroro,
Runner-up, Editorial Cartooning, English

 



Department of Education (DepEd)
Regional Schools Press Conference (RSPC) 2007
Punta Villa Resort, Arevalo, Iloilo City
December 10 -11, 2007





Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Ngonyan na banggi

N

gonyan na banggi, masiramon gayod makanamit giraray nin tiniktik na ginisa sa kamatis, dangan sinabawan nin dikit lang, tapos binerdurahan nin ogbos kamote.—Nonoy! Nonoy!, Iloilo, September 2, 2007, 5:45 p.m.

 

Ay talagang nang siram na…—Bembem, Dayangdang, 6:05 p.m.

 

Iyo talaga. Mami-miss mo an kakanon na iyan digdi satuya sa Bicol.—Amy Bañes, Banat, 6:07 p.m.

 

Ano kun kusidong balanak na piglako ni Unding na may ayon kalunggay na pighagad ki Tiyang Gunday?—Uncle Awel, Davao City, 6:13 p.m.

 

Masiram talaga, arog kaiyan panira mi last night. Puwerte garo man lang luto ni Lola. Pula na an sabaw dahil sa berdura.—Tomo, Bagacay, 6:37 p.m.

 

Kun gusto mo magpuli ka na muna digdi where you find green pastures and find yourself beside still waters!—Uncle Jun, Bagacay, 6:30 p.m.

 

Hehehe puli ka ngani digdi bakal kitang punaw, tiniktik. Ingat pirmi Noy! God bless you always. We miss u Uncle Nonoy!—Manoy, Manay and kids, Sto. Domingo, Camaligan, 6:04 p.m.

 

 

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Bourne Ultimatum

Rating:★★★
Category:Movies
Genre: Action & Adventure
As last installment in the Bourne trilogy—The Bourne Ultimatum—makes clear that going back to the past that went wrong and retrieving it properly will certainly make things right for anyone. Any past that had been wrong all along is where anyone should start in order to go some place definite and clear. This is after all the case of Jason Bourne, whose identity is either identified and/or altered by the CIA who has in fact given birth to him.

According to the film, the search for the self is still the most difficult to undertake. When Jason Bourne is faced with the dilemma to know his real name, his identity, the movie reminds us of Logan’s return to his creator who made a wolf out of him in X-Men. After suffering the death of his girlfriend in India, he feels there is no way he could hide from his pursuers. He has to go back to who he is so he could proceed further.

As regards acting, there is something in Matt Damon that makes us say he must have taken this role seriously. While he made it clear in one published interview that he had to study the role seriously because it demands him so, he displays it just thus in the manner that he is the character, and no one else. In fact, the composed yet human Bourne temperament has stood all through the film—he just convinces the audience enough.

Forgive nothing. After he has pinpointed the identities who made miserable out of his life and sensibility, Jason Bourne just has to show us that they can never deter him from prevailing in the end. After all, he has been left with no choice but to “hunt down his past in order to find a future.”

While Pamela Landy’s (Joan Allen) character figures as the mother figure for the child in Jason who is simply bullied by his elder brothers, David Straithairn’s grim aura that stalks on the hero spells evil the most articulately.

Meanwhile, the CIA operations set to eliminate Bourne may be hackneyed on varied grounds. But the Blackbriar thingy makes clear that the corrupt human nature cannot just cease to exist, which is why Ludlum must have written the trilogy.

Sadly though, the film has greatly departed from the Ludlum masterpiece—splicing critical plot lines into oblivion. Yet, with Damon’s significant delivery of character and the dizzying action sequences reminiscent of and even surpassing the previous two projects (“Bourne Identity” in 2002 by Doug Liman and “Bourne Supremacy” in 2004 by Paul Greengrass), this powerhouse project comes out hardly unscathed.


Wednesday, August 08, 2007

David Fincher's 'Zodiac'

Rating:★★★★
Category:Movies
Genre: Horror
David Fincher’s “Zodiac” opens in a grim sequence, one that makes a book-turned-into-film venture worthy of a second look.

In a night of revelry, two unsuspecting youngsters who are making out on a holiday or simply relishing the Independence Day Celebration in California drop dead and injured in their car after an unidentified man shoots them point-blank.

The opening murder scene highlighted by the swelling of Donovan's "Hurdy Gurdy Man" makes the film unforgettable. A grim reality depicted in the senseless murder slides along with this 60s rock anthem which makes you cringe a bit. And a bit more.

The killing of Darlene Ferrin and her companion in 1969 virtually starts the ball rolling—the killer goes on his butchery until the time comes when the lives of a number of San Francisco journalists and cops get entangled with the search for his identity. Through his ciphers and letters, the serial killer terrifies the San Francisco Bay Area and taunts the police. As investigators in four jurisdictions begin to search for him, the case becomes an obsession for four men—as their lives and careers are built and destroyed by the endless trail of clues.

While San Francisco Chronicle may be entitled to berate the film for whatever reason it has, aside from being the site of struggle of the story’s characters, saying it “falls flat. and giving it a C rating, what makes Fincher’s adaptation sensible is its treatment of a crime thriller woven in the threadbare characters—Paul Avery (Robert Downey, Jr.), the San Francisco Chronicle lead reporter whose life gets preoccupied and later emaciated by the Zodiac lure; Inspector Dave Toschi (Mark Ruffalo), the cop who pursues and later becomes the pursued, and Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal), the San Francisco Chronicle cartoonist who eventually cracks it further for good. Graysmith’s nonfiction work is itself the source material for the film.

After years of search and investigations, however, the Bay Area police could not properly identify the Zodiac murderer who had senselessly killed a number of promising persons in the state. They could not prove him guilty on the bases of handwriting and fingerprints, two indicators that could pin down criminals for their dastardly acts some three decades ago.

While it is not so difficult to pinpoint the criminal—what with the DNA tests and similar other forms of crime identification and detection—these days, what strikes us hard in the film is its depiction of how a potential criminal who had been at large for years and should have been imprisoned for his heinous acts can simply go on at large just because police technology was simply quite old-school or backward, as compared today.

Nevertheless, the experience presented in the film spells the realities we witness in our own country nowadays. Here and now, politicians and criminals alike loom at large, living with the rest of the saner civilization which they prey on, or on which they feed.

“Zodiac” in this sense becomes a predictable masterpiece as we easily see what it speaks to us of the stark realities that make our lives difficult. Some people are born to make us live in fear. Some are just born to make things difficult for us unless we try to do something about it.

John Caroll Lynch’s Arthur Leigh Allen, who comes hardly unscathed during the film’s timeline—he is identified by the 1969 killing witness Mike Mageau only in 1991 or towards the end of the film—visibly mirrors the criminals in our country who are still at large because we lack measures to properly track them down. This is simply engrossing as it is gross.

Screened locally some four months later than its original release worldwide, Fincher’s adaptation of Robert Graysmith’s whodunit throws open the puzzle that is not solved because in reality it was not solved for a long time.

Others say it is a kind of “procedural thriller for the information age,” trying to mirror the stark realities of the 1970s.



Monday, July 16, 2007

The Search Is On


This school year, our search is on for the new batch of heroes.  Despite the ill effects of the media and other similar influences, we would want to think that a culture of admirable students still pervades our schools today.

Everyday we see them going in and out of the campus, baring their persons in commendable degrees—a well-mannered, dutiful, cultured lot, whose real persons and stories need to be emulated; or to the very least, appreciated, at least appreciated.

We are inspired by students who are courteous, basically tactful, reasonably straightforward, and not necessarily quiet. We see hope in a devoted student who keeps his word about submitting his late paper on Friday. Or what a delight it would be to meet a young junior who greets you one unholy afternoon with a forthright smile and a warm “Hi, Sir!” or “How are you, Ma’am?”  By these students we cannot just help but be astonished. And inspired.

We see streaks of hope in a student who gives way to a teacher when he passes by their clique. We most admire one who asks to be given a task not only because he knows he will be graded for it but because he or she is convinced that there is something to learn from it.

How about a student who offers a teacher to carry their notebooks to and from their classrooms? Or an anonymous someone—barely a class officer—who readily borrows the eraser from the teacher and cleans the writing on the board?

We can’t help but be amazed by these basic, admirable values which are redundantly the essentials. Sadly, however, some of our students may not be through getting to know any elemental thing about these or any aspect of genuine learning, which can prepare them for life.

Yet, all the same we remain optimistic that we have hope in some others who are otherwise—who do otherwise. So we move on to looking beyond what is obvious here and now. Frankly we believe it is not so hard to find a hero, an odd man out. Daily we launch a search for a student who does not conform to a culture that is tolerant of the vices of a child, the whims of Peter Pan or the caprices of a Dennis the Menace.

He or she is one growing person who is willing to live and live well in good manner. One who will succeed and whose name will be worth every frame in a world’s nameless, priceless, unadvertised, and insignificant hall of fame—because he or she will be one etched in a teacher’s heart—one who will inspire the teacher enough until his or her retirement.

It will not be so difficult to stumble on admirable persons who can make sense of what we have been doing the most of our lives. The search for these persons has always been on going.


There are some students out there whose young lives can shed light to others—some who can deserve to be called not just students, but scholars.


Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Miss Julie

Rating:★★★★
Category:Movies
Genre: Other
Theories of Drama
May 2005


Unsolvable—this is what August Strindberg’s “Miss Julie” and Leoncio Deriada’s “The Dog Eaters” make clear about the woman problem.

In both works, the woman is portrayed as the modern tragic hero, powerless and insignificant character, who is not able to achieve her full person and make the best use of her existence, for it is largely hinged on her being smothered, silenced, suppressed, and considered insignificant.

In the two plays, women are depicted in a desperate state—not being able to do what their hearts desire or when they do, rather suffer their consequences in the most dismal forms. The powerlessness of a woman is highlighted by her futile attempts in antagonizing the male ego and is suppressed, regardless of her status in any society—aristocratic or urban poor. The patriarchal society constituting the male order presses too hard on their lives, and pushes them to despair and eventually, downfall.

One dismal reality is common in both plays. Both works bring to light the battle of the sexes—for domination—in an effort to create an order in a given society. When, at the end of the day, the question is asked—who survives? Certainly, it is not the woman. And more interestingly enough, both have naturalistic treatments of the same subject: the suppressed female sensibility never—if at all—triumphs over the otherwise impersonal male order. Her fate is largely determined by her enclosed, cloistered and restrained status in any given social setting where the male reigns supreme, intact, unmoved.

In the Strindberg classic, Miss Julie, a count’s daughter in the turn-of-the-century Sweden, seduces her father’s footman Jean, but succumbs to the dire consequences of her action that leads to her own ruin. In Deriada’s social realist piece written in the late 1960s, one cloistered wife Mariana realizes the stark poverty she consciously drew herself into, where her husband Victor lives the dog-like existence with his dog-eating friends. Desperate and resigned, her existence disintegrates within the filth of the slums.

Both dramatic tragedies spell the inevitability of the protagonist’s disintegration and ruin. In each of these works, the protagonist’s fate is inexorable, something that no one can escape. When we see the woman as the victim of a superior force, it arouses our pity. When we realize that the action demonstrates universal truths and that we feel that the victim could just as easily be ourselves—it arouses our fear. In the tragic hero’s death, we feel a sense of loss, but only because she has demonstrated his great worth. It is said that in tragedy, the forces of life being what they are, and human nature what it is, the protagonist wrestles with these forces, but he can never hope to win over them, and ultimately he is defeated.

“Miss Julie” delineates a series of unfortunate events for its protagonist, Countess Julie. We come to know that Miss Julie is the daughter of a count and that this affords her the blessings of a good life. We also get to know that Miss Julie has been brought up by her mother to hate men. When she—to express her contempt for them—forced her fiancé to jump over a horsewhip at her command, the man broke the engagement. Then, Miss Julie joins in a servants’ party and flirts with Jean, a footman. Through the entire unfolding of events, the countess seduces him and, unable to live with the conflicts this act creates in her, commits suicide.

In “The Dog Eaters”, Mariana laments the fact that hers is not a good life and scorns her husband Victor for not having a permanent job. She nags him for their poor life, and blames him for their sorry living conditions. Like a mad dog, she is hysterical at her husband: “I am mad because I want my husband to have a steady job… I want my husband to make a man of himself.” Mariana is cloistered within dismal poor circumstances which virtually dictate her sense of values. When she finally resorts to aborting her second child, it is because despair and resignation spell her entire character. She becomes irresponsible in her acts—hardly recognizing its consequences.

While making a problematic of the woman’s issue, Julie’s character emphasizes the dilemma that men and women are different—they want different things; and each is determined to dominate. In Miss Julie,” the battle of sexes is depicted very intensely ravishing (Krutch, 1953). Countess Julie, who belongs to the highly privileged class “plays with fire with the working-class constituent Jean who rather appears refined and even schooled. Bit by bit, through the play, we see how their respective roles are reversed on grounds of the more dominant sex. The male gradually dominates the female sex—regardless of where he is situated in the society, or economically determined.

Ruled by her instincts, on a frenzied mardi gras, Julie gets attracted to his father’s valet Jean—composed but virile and ambitious—but later fails to recognize the consequences of her wild act. She starts to engage him in a verbal war, and later an intimate affair—

Julie: Kiss my hand first!
Jean: Don’t you realize that playing with fire is dangerous?
Julie: Not for me. I’m insured.
Jean: No, you’re not! And even if you are, there’s combustible material nearby.
Julie: Meaning you?
Jean: Yes! Not because I am who I am, but just because I’m a young man…

Here, the male character very well recognizes the male-female chemistry is highly combustible; the woman hardly knows the male hormones are highly excitable, fact which never has been familiar to an otherwise naïve Julie who subconsciously desires to subdue the male sex. She has done so to her former fiancée who later broke off engagement with her on grounds of her wild domineering act—making him jump on a horsewhip.

Jean: And so you got engaged to the country commissioner!
Julie: Exactly—so that he should become my slave.
Jean: And he wasn’t willing?
Julie: He was willing enough, but he didn’t get the chance. I grew tired of him.

Early on, Julie, the count’s daughter utterly declares her domination of the other sex to her father’s footman, Jean, who patronizes such seduction until Julie furthers on to flirt with him:

Julie: What incredible conceit! A Don Juan, perhaps? Or a Joseph? I’m prepared to believe you’re a Joseph!
Jean: You think so?
Julie: I almost fear so.
[Jean makes a bold move to embrace and kiss her.]
Julie: [Slaps him] Insolence!
Jean: Serious or joking?
Julie: Serious.

In this part, Julie does not the consequences of her actions until the time Jean plays his part to poke fun at her, being lured in turn by her “statutory” seduction—one imposed to the male servant by her female master.

Julie: Have you ever been in love?
Jean: That’s not the word we’d use. But I have run after plenty of girls. And once, when I couldn’t have the one girl I wanted, I became sick. Really sick, I tell you, like those princes in the Arabian nights who could neither eat nor drink for love.
Julie: Who was she? [Jean is silent.] Who was she?
Jean: You can’t make me answer that.
Julie: If I ask you as an equal? As a—friend? Who was she?
Jean: You.
Julie: [Sits] Priceless!

An ambitious member of the working-class serving the aristocrats Julie and her father count, Jean is now compelled to make use of his being male to obtain what he desires—to become himself the powerful though anonymous Count who has control on everything in the household. And after several instances of seduction by his female master, the male servant becomes the male usurper who affords himself the chance to use his sex and sexuality and prey on her female sensitive character to conquer her.

When footman Jean becomes the abuser, he delineates a potent character of the patriarchal order. He represents the virile but unfeeling phallus, seeking its own pleasure and self-preservation. He serves the entire purpose of the masculine sensibility—sheer sex and bodily satisfaction—attaining for the male order its clout and control.

After the seduction results in consummation, whether compelled or otherwise, Julie realizes what she has drawn herself into. The subservient Jean is now someone who says much about the real story about parents of the countess herself. He then makes her realize that like her mother who hated men, she is also crazy. She is definitely crazy—

Jean: It’s what comes of getting mixed up with women. Miss Julie, I know you’re suffering but I cannot understand you. I think you’re sick. Yes, you’re definitely sick.
Julie: Please be kind to me. Speak to me like a human being.

And when they both realize that their action is shameful before the whole household, the woman character has something clear in mind—she’d run away with the footman to escape disgrace.

Jean: So what do we do then?
Julie: Go away together!
Jean: To torment each other to death?
Julie: No—to enjoy ourselves for two days, or a week, or for as long as it’s possible to enjoy oneself. And then—die.

Here is proven that the man-woman disparity is perennial as that of life and death. Though Julie foresees harmony in their coexistence, Jean does not share this idea, especially with Julie, who he considers not his equal, but now someone lower than him—after committing such an act. Jean very well knows how it works for the aristocrat—a member of the aristocrat cannot simply commit what Julie has brought for herself. Now he considers himself “higher” than Julie herself—not only because he is a male, but because the act has—as if—reversed their status. Truth now dawns upon Julie that with such an act, she could never regain her purity—or even honor—again. The male character’s rhetoric is working so much against the female’s sensitivity whose worth and sensibility is as though hinged on what the patriarchal order declares.

And when Julie summons him to join her in her plans to flee the Count’s household to establish their lives some place else, the male stands his ground to make her see—he has only fooled her as much as she did him prior to the consummation of the sexual act.

Julie: Come up with me!
Jean: To your room? Now you’ve lost your mind again! Go, at once!
Julie: Speak kindly to me, Jean.

Now disillusioned and given to disgrace and later death, Julie’s character is transformed as it is disintegrated. Here she appears to be the sorriest character after the swift turn of events. Jean only made her believe that he desired her—after patronizing her own seduction of him. The woman becomes the unwanted sex—the pathetic sex that pulled to itself its own ruin.

Julie: What would you do in my place?
Jean: In your place? Let me think. As a Count’s daughter, as a woman, after this kind of mistake. I don’t know. Yes, now I do know.
Julie: [makes a gesture] Like this?
Jean: Yes. But I wouldn’t do it—be clear about that! There’s a difference between us.
Julie: Because you’re a man and I’m a woman? What difference does that make?
Jean: Same difference as between—a man and a woman!

Close to her suicide, the naïve Julie does not recognize the difference of the two sexes insinuated and illustrated by the footman—that in her parent’s marriage, it is the Count, her father himself who ruled after all—not her mother. It is the man who has dominated.

These final exchanges of rhetoric between the male and the female highlight the failure of the woman to attempt at changing her own destiny. It is the male that still defines the female. It is he on whom she will hinge her existence into. Her existence is largely defined by how he allows [or not] it to be. Rendered immobile by everything surrounding her, Julie succumbs to her own ruin, and the male dominates in the end—

Julie: I’m unable to do anything any longer! Unable to feel remorse, unable to run, unable to stay, unable to live—unable to die! Help me! Order me, and I’ll obey you like a dog. Do me this last service, save my honor, save my name! You know what I should do, but can’t—will me to do it. Order me to do it!
Jean: I don’t know why—but now I can’t, either—I don’t understand it. It’s as though this jacket here actually kept me—from being able to order you—and now, since the Count spoke to me—now—how can I explain it—ah—it’s this damned servant boy sitting on my back! I think if the Count were to come down here right now—and he ordered me to cut my throat—I’d do it on the spot.

Here, Julie realizes that her existence cannot at all be given meaning beyond this thing she’s “ordered to do.” Everything has dawned on her, thus—

Julie: Then make believe you’re my father, and I’m you. You were such a good actor before, when you got down on your knees—you were the gentleman then—or haven’t you ever been to the theater and watched a hypnotist? He says to the subject, take the broom! And the subject takes it. He says, sweep! And the subject sweeps—
Jean: But the other one has to be asleep.
Julie: I’m already asleep.

The woman is given to accepting her destined place in the world where man reigns powerful and prevails. We come to realize that the woman problem is perennially unsolvable—irresolvable, or fixed in a number of ways. It declares that the woman is a predictable social character whose ill destiny in the patriarchal society can never be less than tragic or devastating.

We can infer a number of things about the predictable plight of the woman in an otherwise irregular reality put forth by the existing patriarchy. The fact that Julie approaches derangement, prior to her self-murder, tells us that a woman is doomed for life. When Julie approaches derangement, Julie both desires and rejects the male ego. She both abhors and adores Jean, the male culture constituent, the phallus that lures an otherwise reluctant female crevice into its traps. When Julie sets out to kill herself as per hypnotism by the animal, brusque Jean, the female sensibility succumbs to the male, phallic, patriarchal order—and reaffirms its control over human affairs.

Because “Miss Julie” illustrates a love-hate relationship between a noblewoman and one of her servants, reminiscent of D. H. Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover, this presupposes that the woman character is hinged on the male’s animal nature. Nothing much more can be said about this work but about its author’s strong aversion against women. The stark reality unfolds in this brazen work that depicts one gruesome male ego that stalks and preys on the female sensibility as it seeks to elevate itself by way if raping the female—physically and subconsciously.

In Leoncio Deriada’s “The Dog Eaters”, we see the tragic fate of Mariana, the wife of a jobless Victor who prefers drinking with his dog-eating friends to finding a stable job that could support his family. When Mariana recalls her expectations when she eloped with Victor, she is frustrated when she realizes that her dreams of having things she didn’t possess did not materialize after her elopement.

Mariana: Do we have to be like this all the time? Why don’t you get a steady job like any other decent husband?
Victor: You don’t have to complain, Mariana. True, my job is not permanent but I think we have enough. We are not starving, are we?
Mariana (with a flourish): You call this enough? You call this rat’s nest of a house, this hell of a neighborhood—enough? You call these tin plates and cheap curtains enough? (Bitterly.) This is not the kind of life I expected…

Mariana becomes the pathetic icon of irony when she pastes pictures on the walls so their house could get some sense of cheerfulness of the rather gloomy living conditions. Of course, the pasted pictures and plastic fixtures in the house all the more emphasized their destitution.

Mariana is the morally upright, goal-oriented, perhaps sensible modern woman who becomes a misfit—she has to indeed fall into despair—for she doesn’t belong to the slime of the slums. She despises the dog-like existence inasmuch as she abhors her husband’s affinity with their dog-eating neighbors. She prefers a better life. But she is living with the likes of Aling Elpidia, the vegetable vendor who sells her a concoction that can abort her unborn. Along with these characters, Mariana fails to realize that the worst that can happen to them is to become human refuse—yielding to their animal nature.

Aling Elpidia: (one hand still flat on Mariana’s belly) Are you sure you do not want another child?
Mariana: I don’t want another child. (She moves away and holds the bottle like a trophy.)
Aling Elpidia: Well, it’s your decision. The bottle is yours.
Mariana: How shall I take this?

As for the woman’s act or attempt to kill her unborn—moralists would immediately retort—the end does not justify the means—and perhaps make comments to the same effect. Mariana will never be judged by her intention—but primarily by the act. In the play, the act of abortion was never executed but Mariana’s attempt to do so has already propelled the worse circumstances and consequences for her. Though Mariana initially posed as a catalyst for change in that desperate part of the world, her being a wife to a macho Filipino husband more clearly draws her real fate—helplessness and despair altogether cause her downfall.

Mariana: One spoonful in the morning and one spoonful in the evening. It’s bitter, Victor, but I can bear it. I will be safe.
Victor: What’s that? (Then the truth dawning upon him) What? What? My baby! You? You!
Mariana: Yes! And I’m not afraid!
Victor: You won’t do it.
Mariana: No!
Victor: What kind of woman are you?
Mariana: And what kind of man are you?
Victor: It’s my baby!
Mariana: It’s mine. I have the right to dispose of it. I don’t want another child.
Victor: Why, Mariana, why?
Mariana: Because you cannot afford it! What would you feed another child, ha, Victor? Tuba for milk? Dog meat for rice?

Though Mariana appears to be a good woman, she is the quintessential woman whose morals are sacrificed—falling prey to an unrelenting male ego-dictated society, one that is hostile and aloof, cruel and impersonal, unkind and stern. Like the countess Julie—and like Ramir whom she butchers—Mariana succumbs to the slavering tongues of the dog-eat-dog society where she finds herself in.

When Victor tells Mariana, “Behave, you woman,” he articulates a macho rhetoric that attempts or obviously, starkly impose silence or seek to silence the woman and her possibilities. But to Mariana, Victor’s macho image is not in fact masculinity, but otherwise. She tells him she’s a coward because he hardly could provide for his growing family. For her, the measure of manhood is not something between his pants, it is his being able to provide and provide well and enough for his family.

The man-woman clash is caused by the male’s skewed sense of himself, his virility that makes not a sensible sense to the other sex. Mariana has a husband who has no ambitions, who never makes efforts to alleviate them from their stark poverty. Her natural circumstances largely determine her character, thus her story, thus her destiny.

Mariana: You men can talk because you don’t have to bear children. You cowards!
Victor: Shut up!
Mariana: Go away from me! Go away from me! Get out! Get out! Leave me alone!
(Victor goes out…She goes to the kitchen and comes back with the basket of vegetables and throws everything out of the window. Ramir barks.)
Mariana: Shut up, you miserable dog! (Pauses) Ramir—ah yes, Ramir. Now I know what to do.
(She goes to the kitchen and returns with a huge kitchen knife. Kicking the scattered tin plates on her way, she crosses to the room to the right exit.)

Enclosed in a strongly patriarchal structure, Mariana cannot just achieve her full potential as a person, much more a moral agent who strives to do what is right, or morally upright. Though she consciously takes chances and risks to change her husband’s disposition, she fails. In the process she loses herself. And in the end, she loses her self.

Mariana: here, Ramir. Come, come, Ramir. Come. Victor loves you very much. Perhaps more than he loves me. Come, Ramir. Do you see this knife? (The dog growls.) I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you, Ramir. I’ll slit your throat and drink your blood and cut you to pieces and stew you and eat you. Damn you, Victor. Damn this child. Damn everything. I’ll kill you, Ramir. (Final yelp.) I’ll cook you and eat you and eat you and eat you! Uhu! Uhu! Uhu! (And for the first time, Mariana cries.)

Very well, both texts highlight that the woman problem can never be solved because the unrelenting male sensibility will perennially make ways—consciously or otherwise—to suppress it, and make it realize its own insignificance, its unimportance.

Man [read: man and woman] is said to be the victim of conflicting desires, and the strongest of them, like his desire for a member of the opposite sex, are irrational and yet stronger than reason. He despises himself for not being able to cease desiring what he also hates (Krutch, 1953). Such generalization rings true in these two characters. Miss Julie obviously cannot do away with her desire for her father’s footman. So she desires him incessantly, while she also abhors his sex because she has been taught by her mother to hate men. This puts her in an irrevocable dilemma from which she could hardly get out one piece. Mariana, meanwhile, is a female sensibility which unconsciously or unknowingly brings upon herself her own ruin. The moment she decided to elope with a good looking animal named Victor instead of finishing her college course, she already degraded herself inasmuch as she belonged to a society where poverty defines the majority of its constituent. When she yielded to Victor’s virility and sex, she also stole from herself the right to a better status in an even more male-dictated society.

The essence of man’s tragic dilemma is that there is no rational—only an irrational solution of this dilemma (Krutch, 1953). Highlighted by the two tragic women characters and their sorry plights, the two works pursue a naturalistic tragedy that highlights pity, fear, and catharsis. Pity is aroused in us by the women’s inherent weaknesses and the social class structures they inhabit. Fear is evoked when we realize that the same fate could overcome any of us.

Both plays highlight the weak woman spirit. The plays enunciate that the woman indeed is a weak species—cloistered in the midst of the male-dominated society. Women are rendered to have tragic lives. Their fate—determined by the egoistic male society where they are situated—or where they are rather placed—is highly predictable. But the fact that these women characters defy such destiny is what makes their lives worth telling. The fact that they defied the boundaries of the oppressive, brusque, virile, and unfeeling patriarchal order—altogether redefines the character of a woman.

In the bigger picture, it is the woman who is put in bad light—or is she? Mariana rebels against the stifling patriarchal structure—antagonizing Victor when she resorts to aborting the second child and hurting his male ego when she kills his pet dog Ramir. Mariana resorts to abortion to spite Victor and perhaps make him aware of his responsibility. By wanting to kill her second child, for they cannot practically feed them well, she would rather redeem him from earthly suffering and damnation. Here the modern woman is one admirable character for she seeks to challenge an otherwise dismal structure that oppresses more her inane existence, and transforms her very sensibilities.

“I told you I didn’t want another child. You broke that bottle but I will look for other means. I’ll starve myself. I’ll jump out of the window. I’ll fall down the stairs,” runs the litany of despair, of Mariana’s exasperated existence as well defined by the male world of Victor’s. This makes clear the nature of woman to liberate herself from the restrictions of the male structure that encloses her—or rather defines her—one that subjects her as a wife or that subjugates her as a woman [secondary or insignificant to man]. Only by rebelling against such dismal structure can the woman afford herself her liberty, her individuality, her self.

In Mike Figgis’s rendition of Strindberg’s masterpiece, Saffron Burrows’ Julie is one unforgettable tragedy in literary and cinema consciousness. Her sexually hungry, angst-ridden female countenance spells the female nature—”vessel and damsel” but defiant and irreverent. She delineates one discontented and disturbing female character, a bored individual whose hollow existence is not compelled or desired but naturally determined. She has been taught by her mother to hold grudges against men; she is a man-hater gone haywire.

Both Julie and Mariana do not recognize the futility of their actions to free themselves from these patriarchal enclosures until they actually succumb to it. In both works, there’s an attempt to define a helpless, ill-fated woman whose existence is hinged on the brusque and indifferent male feeling, the two characters clarify that the patriarchal setups such as family largely determines their very sensibilities. Neither of them triumphs in their attempt to resist the patriarchal vacuum. It sucks up their persons, influences their consciousness, and determines their destinies.


Works Cited and Sources Consulted

Deriada, Leoncio P. The Dog Eaters and Other Plays. Quezon City: New Day Publishers, 1986.

Dickinson, Leo T. A Guide to Literary Study. Fort Worth: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich College Publishers, 1987.

Jurilla, Jonathan P. “Socio-Cultural Conflict Depicted in Selected Short Stories of Leoncio Deriada.” Iloilo City: University of the Philippines in the Visayas, 1996. Undergraduate thesis.

Krutch, Joseph W. Modernism in Modern Drama. New York: Cornell University Press, 1953.

Nato Eligio, Generosa. “Some Recent Writers and The Times: A Socio-Critical Study of Selected Short Stories in English Anthologized in the 1980’s.” Manila: University of Santo Tomas, 1991. Doctoral dissertation.

Picart, Roland M. “Social Commentary in Leoncio P. Deriada’s The Road to Mawab and Other Stories.” Baguio City: Baguio Colleges Foundation, 1986. Graduate thesis.

Rose, Phyllis. Writing of Women: Essays in a Renaissance. Middletown: Wesleyan University Press, 1985.

Szondi, Peter. Theory of the Modern Drama. Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1987.



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