Monday, August 31, 2009

A Filipino’s Song of Myself c. 21st century


“Manifesto for Myself”
by Eric Gamalinda, Zero Gravity, 1999

Know all persons by these presents

1. Wherever
2. I

3. go
4. I carry the sorrow of my country
5. its memory of water
6. its calendar of inclemencies
7. if my voice sounds far away
8. if I argue with the logic of ideograms
9. I insist I can’t help it
10. this is the language
11. I speak in my dreams

Whereas

12. I carry the light of all centuries
13. everywhere I go
14. I declare myself responsible
15. for the upkeep of their bridges
16. their poor their balconies
17. the fading lamps
18. and evanescence of dawn
19. I claim you as my burden
20. the you I will never meet
21. I bear your music
22. and your histories
23. and your children begging in the streets
24. and your mothers
counting the bullets
in the hollow nest of corpses

25. I am that one made of copper of shadow and salt
26. I have asked my poems
27. to bear the weight
28. of illicit conversations
29. dead letters
30. the insatiable murmur of the penitent
31. the two faces
32. of joy and sin

33. Everywhere that a man
34. goes hungry
35. is denied his speech
36. is driven from his home
37. I am the one who must accept
38. his bitter music
39. his silence
40. his terrifying oracle

41. Wherever I go
42. I remain who I am
43. I bear the weight
44. of light passing
45. over the cemeteries
46. the ripening fruit
47. and the nails
48. yanked from the hands
49. of the crucified Christ

50. Keep this under your hat
51. and when they ask about me
52. Tell them he knew
53. a lot of things
54. but he never learned
55. to shut up.


In “Manifesto for Myself,” Filipino expat poet Eric Gamalinda presents a persona who is the Filipino everyman, one who seems to have seen, witnessed and experienced the travails of his ‘sad republic.’ In particular, the persona is one who is way from his country—so that wherever he goes, he takes with him his country’s geography of sadness, and misfortunes. Perhaps not being able to have enough of his sad republic, and still dreaming much of his “empire of memory,” Gamalinda’s persona speaks in behalf of all Filipinos.

Employing the cataloging technique, this litany of stark realities confronting the common Filipino is beautifully expressed in a sensible and artistic fashion. This manifesto motif renders the poem its charm—the persona through a sort of a legal document, utterly declares to the rest of the world the Filipino race.

Having left his country, the persona feels the need to defend why he is exotic of Other to whom he is speaking—he does not berate himself for not sounding natural to others; rather he takes pride in being what he is because of the language he is born to or with. From the beginning of the poem until line 11, we know the persona asserts how he as a captive of his own country’s geography an sensibility is by nature Filipino, perhaps one who speaks the myriad languages—his country is as diverse as its ethnic groups, an archipelago of differences.

Lines 12 through 24 say much further of his Filipino-ness, which he seems to proclaim. Was it being ostracized or plainly isolated that drove Gamalinda’s sensibility to lament on his own race perhaps marginalized in the western world? Everywhere he goes, he carries the “light of all countries”—the Filipino is himself the emblem of diversity—a hybrid of a number of influences—the offspring of mixed cultures and senses and sensibilities. Being such, he takes responsibility for whatever these cultures imply or entail—favorable or otherwise—as in the fading lamps and the evanescence of dawn.” Ultimately, the Filipino everyman will relish the joys and sustain any ills of these cultures, traditions an influences that consist his being.

Burden to him is the ‘you’ whom he will never meet—the unnamed colonizer whose cultures subjugated him—who is but liable for the children begging in the streets, who feeds on the casualties of war or social unrest, the ones who are answerable to “the mothers counting the bullets in the hollow nest of corpses.” The persona tacitly deems himself responsible for all these—as in the Malay’s sense of bravery or valor.

Further on, the persona slowly reveals himself as a poet of sorts—an advocate of the bitter truths, more of a herald than a victim, a seer who has seen portents of the soul of his own race. His poems, according to him, carry for him a number of burdens—virtually the weight of the world: “illicit conversations” were because the sacred was perhaps mistaken for the profane; “dead letters” render meaningless rhetoric to him who uses them; the penitent is said to murmur insatiably, vacillating between good and evil; truth I traded for convenience or jeopardized by loose morals.

Heralding lots of truths now, the poet persona assumes the moral responsibility for his own kinsmen deprived of freedom, who are stolen their basic rights to life or livelihood. He feels, though, he is not worthy; he is apprehensive about the sad fate suffered by anyone who is continually deprived, suppressed, mothered, and silenced.

Wherever he goes, then, he will go further on to herald resurrection to the lot. Perhaps like Hermes who bore the light for the mortals, the persona hovers the dead countrymen, whose sorrows and malady, he himself continues to suffer.

Carrying the light in graveyards of tears and repression, he will [help] usher in the new life, he will help everyone prevail, “yanking away the nails from the hands of the Crucified Messiah, redeeming his fellowmen from their trials and tribulations.

He promises redemption to come not now but anytime sooner—in the end, he says he knows a lot of thing and he will never cease telling about these things he knows. He will not stop speaking truths; he will go on until truth prevails, until the Filipino everyman prevails.


Christmas with a Boy


I got to watch “Christmas with the Voice” unexpectedly. My colleague Rey, who is Jed Madela’s higsuon, insisted that I buy two tickets to the latter’s concert in his home city. I appreciated Rey’s offer since I and Dulce Maria have not been to any form of entertainment lately, or at least in the last two weeks. Or was it more factual that I can’t afford to refuse Rey out of utang na loob.

In almost two hours inside SM Cinema 6, we found ourselves transported to the audience seats applauding Sinatra, or the ones being serenaded by 90s Kilabot Ariel Rivera. We would later realize we were also part of a South Border gig or a Josh Groban’s disciplined moshpit. He simply sang every songs from any genre—virtually from Jose Mari Chan’s “Sound of Life” to Freddie Mercury’s “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.”

It was—in fact—a Christmas with the Voices. Despite the audience’s sense of wonderment evident in their passive reception of the artist’s questions [which turned out as monologues anyway], Champion of the
World Jed Madela was clever enough to un-bore his audience with his versatile voice—the former Dye Vest vocalist dabbled in pop, Broadway, and R& B, rock, and God-knows-what-else.

His chart-topping “Love Always Finds A Way” is an ambitious attempt to render a more convincing cover to a song that had been famous in the 80s. Or to sing a Chaka Khan cliché classic— “Through the Fire”—was indeed one of the Ilonggo champion’s best numbers, since the artist sang to his heart’s content while being seated, (and lying down later).

He also performed Brian McKnight’s “One Last Cry,” Ariel Rivera’s “Sana Ngayong Pasko”, and Toto’s “I’ll Be Over You,” proofs that his versatility knows no bounds and cannot thus be overrated. In the string of songs he sang, Jed Madela has woven a tapestry of sensible [appreciation of] music.


He must have not written any song in the second album, Songs Rediscovered, but the concert showed he has a lot of possibilities onstage when he displays versatility in his performance. The Hollywood Champion panel even recognized this.

His intense emotions while singing any song—make his mark. He is an artist that has yet to make waves. Someone can still write songs for him, or he can write his own pieces. His stage presence captivates the audience since the voice simply goes straight into the listener’s sense and sensibility.

Jed Madela’s strong sense of family did much of the talking in the Christmas with the Voice. The artist took pride in his roots—he related his grandmother’s sentimentality for “Memory,” one of the Broadway pieces he interpreted. He hinted at his father’s all-out support to his dream of pursuing a music career. He cited his mother and siblings as inspiration—indeed a more sincere and honest-to-goodness motivation for such a passion that can set the fashion, so to speak.

That he also acknowledged his roots and school where he went was enough reason to believe this Ilonggo dreamer and winner has yet a long way to go. He is able to proceed because he has with him the inspiration that can take anyone to places.

His slightly humorous conversations with the audience reflected both an Ilonggo accent and an English education that has yet to thrive and be internalized by a more appreciative audience.

As a national TV celebrity these days, Jed Madela knows what he should do to survive, or at least sustain his slot in the world of music-dom. He confesses he finds things difficult backstage. He has experienced discrimination, but says he’s challenged all the more to work harder.

In the concert, he lamented on the discrimination in show business. He confessed what setbacks there can be in the field he chose to pursue. In the end, he turned out seeking support from his fellow Ilonggos to help him and recognize talents such as his.

Jed Madela’s business to perform has become his aching to confess about show business. His performance along with his stories in the business calls out to the audience for help. And to buy his Rediscovered album can be the least but most important gesture a fellow Ilonggo can do to show his support and even affinity with this young rising star.

His sensitivity to the audience and his treatment of the numbers he rendered only showed that the probinsyano has not yet given up the fight in the field of show business.

His is a talent that has yet to shine beyond these shores. In the world championship where he reaped all awards, he was just given the needed break. Certainly his task now is to follow through.

In essence, Tec 7’s “Christmas with the Voice” was a wonderful treat. Projects such as that have to be replicated if it were the cultural workers’ task to help send people to dream their own possibilities and achieve them.

The concert was more than an appreciation or showcase of world music. It was entertainment at its best. Yet, as expected to happen in a laidback lifestyle in the provinces, cultural shows like this transform into avenues for self-identification. Grimly, it has rather become an artist’s desperate, sweet, quiet clamor to locate oneself in the bigger geography of differences.

Wo(e')man's Beast Friend

Two Tragic Characters in August Strindberg’s “Miss Julie” 
& Leoncio Deriada’s “Dog-Eaters”

Unsolvable.

This is what August Strindberg’s “Miss Julie” and Leoncio Deriada’s “The Dog Eaters” make clear about the woman problem. In both works, the woman is portrayed as the modern tragic hero, powerless and insignificant character, who is not able to achieve her full person and make the best use of her existence, for it is largely hinged on her being smothered, silenced, suppressed, and considered insignificant.

In the two plays, women are depicted in a desperate state—not being able to do what their hearts desire or when they do, rather suffer their consequences in the most dismal forms. The powerlessness of a woman is highlighted by her futile attempts in antagonizing the male ego and is suppressed, regardless of her status in any society—aristocratic or urban poor. The patriarchal society constituting the male order presses too hard on their lives, and pushes them to despair and eventually, downfall.

One dismal reality is common in both plays. Both works bring to light the battle of the sexes—for domination—in an effort to create an order in a given society. When, at the end of the day, the question is asked—who survives? Certainly, it is not the woman. And more interestingly enough, both have naturalistic treatments of the same subject: the suppressed female sensibility never—if at all—triumphs over the otherwise impersonal male order. Her fate is largely determined by her enclosed, cloistered and restrained status in any given social setting where the male reigns supreme, intact, unmoved.

In the Strindberg classic, Miss Julie, a count’s daughter in the turn-of-the-century Sweden, seduces her father’s footman Jean, but succumbs to the dire consequences of her action that leads to her own ruin. In Deriada’s social realist piece written in the late 1960s, one cloistered wife Mariana realizes the stark poverty she consciously drew herself into, where her husband Victor lives the dog-like existence with his dog-eating friends. Desperate and resigned, her existence disintegrates within the filth of the slums.

Both dramatic tragedies spell the inevitability of the protagonist’s disintegration and ruin. In each of these works, the protagonist’s fate is inexorable, something that no one can escape. When we see the woman as the victim of a superior force, it arouses our pity. When we realize that the action demonstrates universal truths and that we feel that the victim could just as easily be ourselves—it arouses our fear. In the tragic hero’s death, we feel a sense of loss, but only because she has demonstrated his great worth. It is said that in tragedy, the forces of life being what they are, and human nature what it is, the protagonist wrestles with these forces, but he can never hope to win over them, and ultimately he is defeated.

“Miss Julie” delineates a series of unfortunate events for its protagonist, Countess Julie. We come to know that Miss Julie is the daughter of a count and that this affords her the blessings of a good life. We also get to know that Miss Julie has been brought up by her mother to hate men. When she—to express her contempt for them—forced her fiancé to jump over a horsewhip at her command, the man broke the engagement. Then, Miss Julie joins in a servants’ party and flirts with Jean, a footman. Through the entire unfolding of events, the countess seduces him and, unable to live with the conflicts this act creates in her, commits suicide.

In “The Dog Eaters”, Mariana laments the fact that hers is not a good life and scorns her husband Victor for not having a permanent job. She nags him for their poor life, and blames him for their sorry living conditions. Like a mad dog, she is hysterical at her husband: “I am mad because I want my husband to have a steady job… I want my husband to make a man of himself.” Mariana is cloistered within dismal poor circumstances which virtually dictate her sense of values. When she finally resorts to aborting her second child, it is because despair and resignation spell her entire character. She becomes irresponsible in her acts—hardly recognizing its consequences.

While making a problematic of the woman’s issue, Julie’s character emphasizes the dilemma that men and women are different—they want different things; and each is determined to dominate. In Miss Julie,” the battle of sexes is depicted very intensely ravishing (Krutch, 1953). Countess Julie, who belongs to the highly privileged class “plays with fire with the working-class constituent Jean who rather appears refined and even schooled. Bit by bit, through the play, we see how their respective roles are reversed on grounds of the more dominant sex. The male gradually dominates the female sex—regardless of where he is situated in the society, or economically determined.

Ruled by her instincts, on a frenzied mardi gras, Julie gets attracted to his father’s valet Jean—composed but virile and ambitious—but later fails to recognize the consequences of her wild act. She starts to engage him in a verbal war, and later an intimate affair—

Julie: Kiss my hand first!
Jean: Don’t you realize that playing with fire is dangerous?
Julie: Not for me. I’m insured.
Jean: No, you’re not! And even if you are, there’s combustible material nearby.
Julie: Meaning you?
Jean: Yes! Not because I am who I am, but just because I’m a young man…

Here, the male character very well recognizes the male-female chemistry is highly combustible; the woman hardly knows the male hormones are highly excitable, fact which never has been familiar to an otherwise naïve Julie who subconsciously desires to subdue the male sex. She has done so to her former fiancée who later broke off engagement with her on grounds of her wild domineering act—making him jump on a horsewhip.

Jean: And so you got engaged to the country commissioner!
Julie: Exactly—so that he should become my slave.
Jean: And he wasn’t willing?
Julie: He was willing enough, but he didn’t get the chance. I grew tired of him.

Early on, Julie, the count’s daughter utterly declares her domination of the other sex to her father’s footman, Jean, who patronizes such seduction until Julie furthers on to flirt with him:

Julie: What incredible conceit! A Don Juan, perhaps? Or a Joseph? I’m prepared to believe you’re a Joseph!
Jean: You think so?
Julie: I almost fear so.
[Jean makes a bold move to embrace and kiss her.]
Julie: [Slaps him] Insolence!
Jean: Serious or joking?
Julie: Serious.

In this part, Julie does not the consequences of her actions until the time Jean plays his part to poke fun at her, being lured in turn by her “statutory” seduction—one imposed to the male servant by her female master.

Julie: Have you ever been in love?
Jean: That’s not the word we’d use. But I have run after plenty of girls. And once, when I couldn’t have the one girl I wanted, I became sick. Really sick, I tell you, like those princes in the Arabian nights who could neither eat nor drink for love.
Julie: Who was she? [Jean is silent.] Who was she?
Jean: You can’t make me answer that.
Julie: If I ask you as an equal? As a—friend? Who was she?
Jean: You.
Julie: [Sits] Priceless!

An ambitious member of the working-class serving the aristocrats Julie and her father count, Jean is now compelled to make use of his being male to obtain what he desires—to become himself the powerful though anonymous Count who has control on everything in the household. And after several instances of seduction by his female master, the male servant becomes the male usurper who affords himself the chance to use his sex and sexuality and prey on her female sensitive character to conquer her.

When footman Jean becomes the abuser, he delineates a potent character of the patriarchal order. He represents the virile but unfeeling phallus, seeking its own pleasure and self-preservation. He serves the entire purpose of the masculine sensibility—sheer sex and bodily satisfaction—attaining for the male order its clout and control.

After the seduction results in consummation, whether compelled or otherwise, Julie realizes what she has drawn herself into. The subservient Jean is now someone who says much about the real story about parents of the countess herself. He then makes her realize that like her mother who hated men, she is also crazy. She is definitely crazy—

Jean: It’s what comes of getting mixed up with women. Miss Julie, I know you’re suffering but I cannot understand you. I think you’re sick. Yes, you’re definitely sick.
Julie: Please be kind to me. Speak to me like a human being.

And when they both realize that their action is shameful before the whole household, the woman character has something clear in mind—she’d run away with the footman to escape disgrace.

Jean: So what do we do then?
Julie: Go away together!
Jean: To torment each other to death?
Julie: No—to enjoy ourselves for two days, or a week, or for as long as it’s possible to enjoy oneself. And then—die.

Here is proven that the man-woman disparity is perennial as that of life and death. Though Julie foresees harmony in their coexistence, Jean does not share this idea, especially with Julie, who he considers not his equal, but now someone lower than him—after committing such an act. Jean very well knows how it works for the aristocrat—a member of the aristocrat cannot simply commit what Julie has brought for herself. Now he considers himself “higher” than Julie herself—not only because he is a male, but because the act has—as if—reversed their status. Truth now dawns upon Julie that with such an act, she could never regain her purity—or even honor—again. The male character’s rhetoric is working so much against the female’s sensitivity whose worth and sensibility is as though hinged on what the patriarchal order declares.

And when Julie summons him to join her in her plans to flee the Count’s household to establish their lives some place else, the male stands his ground to make her see—he has only fooled her as much as she did him prior to the consummation of the sexual act.

Julie: Come up with me!
Jean: To your room? Now you’ve lost your mind again! Go, at once!
Julie: Speak kindly to me, Jean.

Now disillusioned and given to disgrace and later death, Julie’s character is transformed as it is disintegrated. Here she appears to be the sorriest character after the swift turn of events. Jean only made her believe that he desired her—after patronizing her own seduction of him. The woman becomes the unwanted sex—the pathetic sex that pulled to itself its own ruin.

Julie: What would you do in my place?
Jean: In your place? Let me think. As a Count’s daughter, as a woman, after this kind of mistake. I don’t know. Yes, now I do know.
Julie: [makes a gesture] Like this?
Jean: Yes. But I wouldn’t do it—be clear about that! There’s a difference between us.
Julie: Because you’re a man and I’m a woman? What difference does that make?
Jean: Same difference as between—a man and a woman!

Close to her suicide, the naïve Julie does not recognize the difference of the two sexes insinuated and illustrated by the footman—that in her parent’s marriage, it is the Count, her father himself who ruled after all—not her mother. It is the man who has dominated.

These final exchanges of rhetoric between the male and the female highlight the failure of the woman to attempt at changing her own destiny. It is the male that still defines the female. It is he on whom she will hinge her existence into. Her existence is largely defined by how he allows [or not] it to be. Rendered immobile by everything surrounding her, Julie succumbs to her own ruin, and the male dominates in the end—

Julie: I’m unable to do anything any longer! Unable to feel remorse, unable to run, unable to stay, unable to live—unable to die! Help me! Order me, and I’ll obey you like a dog. Do me this last service, save my honor, save my name! You know what I should do, but can’t—will me to do it. Order me to do it!
Jean: I don’t know why—but now I can’t, either—I don’t understand it. It’s as though this jacket here actually kept me—from being able to order you—and now, since the Count spoke to me—now—how can I explain it—ah—it’s this damned servant boy sitting on my back! I think if the Count were to come down here right now—and he ordered me to cut my throat—I’d do it on the spot.

Here, Julie realizes that her existence cannot at all be given meaning beyond this thing she’s “ordered to do.” Everything has dawned on her, thus—

Julie: Then make believe you’re my father, and I’m you. You were such a good actor before, when you got down on your knees—you were the gentleman then—or haven’t you ever been to the theater and watched a hypnotist? He says to the subject, take the broom! And the subject takes it. He says, sweep! And the subject sweeps—
Jean: But the other one has to be asleep.
Julie: I’m already asleep.

The woman is given to accepting her destined place in the world where man reigns powerful and prevails. We come to realize that the woman problem is perennially unsolvable—irresolvable, or fixed in a number of ways. It declares that the woman is a predictable social character whose ill destiny in the patriarchal society can never be less than tragic or devastating.

We can infer a number of things about the predictable plight of the woman in an otherwise irregular reality put forth by the existing patriarchy. The fact that Julie approaches derangement, prior to her self-murder, tells us that a woman is doomed for life. When Julie approaches derangement, Julie both desires and rejects the male ego. She both abhors and adores Jean, the male culture constituent, the phallus that lures an otherwise reluctant female crevice into its traps. When Julie sets out to kill herself as per hypnotism by the animal, brusque Jean, the female sensibility succumbs to the male, phallic, patriarchal order—and reaffirms its control over human affairs.

Because “Miss Julie” illustrates a love-hate relationship between a noblewoman and one of her servants, reminiscent of D. H. Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover, this presupposes that the woman character is hinged on the male’s animal nature. Nothing much more can be said about this work but about its author’s strong aversion against women. The stark reality unfolds in this brazen work that depicts one gruesome male ego that stalks and preys on the female sensibility as it seeks to elevate itself by way if raping the female—physically and subconsciously.

In Leoncio Deriada’s “The Dog Eaters”, we see the tragic fate of Mariana, the wife of a jobless Victor who prefers drinking with his dog-eating friends to finding a stable job that could support his family. When Mariana recalls her expectations when she eloped with Victor, she is frustrated when she realizes that her dreams of having things she didn’t possess did not materialize after her elopement.

Mariana: Do we have to be like this all the time? Why don’t you get a steady job like any other decent husband?
Victor: You don’t have to complain, Mariana. True, my job is not permanent but I think we have enough. We are not starving, are we?
Mariana (with a flourish): You call this enough? You call this rat’s nest of a house, this hell of a neighborhood—enough? You call these tin plates and cheap curtains enough? (Bitterly.) This is not the kind of life I expected…

Mariana becomes the pathetic icon of irony when she pastes pictures on the walls so their house could get some sense of cheerfulness of the rather gloomy living conditions. Of course, the pasted pictures and plastic fixtures in the house all the more emphasized their destitution.

Mariana is the morally upright, goal-oriented, perhaps sensible modern woman who becomes a misfit—she has to indeed fall into despair—for she doesn’t belong to the slime of the slums. She despises the dog-like existence inasmuch as she abhors her husband’s affinity with their dog-eating neighbors. She prefers a better life. But she is living with the likes of Aling Elpidia, the vegetable vendor who sells her a concoction that can abort her unborn. Along with these characters, Mariana fails to realize that the worst that can happen to them is to become human refuse—yielding to their animal nature.

Aling Elpidia: (one hand still flat on Mariana’s belly) Are you sure you do not want another child?
Mariana: I don’t want another child. (She moves away and holds the bottle like a trophy.)
Aling Elpidia: Well, it’s your decision. The bottle is yours.
Mariana: How shall I take this?

As for the woman’s act or attempt to kill her unborn—moralists would immediately retort—the end does not justify the means—and perhaps make comments to the same effect. Mariana will never be judged by her intention—but primarily by the act. In the play, the act of abortion was never executed but Mariana’s attempt to do so has already propelled the worse circumstances and consequences for her. Though Mariana initially posed as a catalyst for change in that desperate part of the world, her being a wife to a macho Filipino husband more clearly draws her real fate—helplessness and despair altogether cause her downfall.

Mariana: One spoonful in the morning and one spoonful in the evening. It’s bitter, Victor, but I can bear it. I will be safe.
Victor: What’s that? (Then the truth dawning upon him) What? What? My baby! You? You!
Mariana: Yes! And I’m not afraid!
Victor: You won’t do it.
Mariana: No!
Victor: What kind of woman are you?
Mariana: And what kind of man are you?
Victor: It’s my baby!
Mariana: It’s mine. I have the right to dispose of it. I don’t want another child.
Victor: Why, Mariana, why?
Mariana: Because you cannot afford it! What would you feed another child, ha, Victor? Tuba for milk? Dog meat for rice?

Though Mariana appears to be a good woman, she is the quintessential woman whose morals are sacrificed—falling prey to an unrelenting male ego-dictated society, one that is hostile and aloof, cruel and impersonal, unkind and stern. Like the countess Julie—and like Ramir whom she butchers—Mariana succumbs to the slavering tongues of the dog-eat-dog society where she finds herself in.

When Victor tells Mariana, “Behave, you woman,” he articulates a macho rhetoric that attempts or obviously, starkly impose silence or seek to silence the woman and her possibilities. But to Mariana, Victor’s macho image is not in fact masculinity, but otherwise. She tells him she’s a coward because he hardly could provide for his growing family. For her, the measure of manhood is not something between his pants, it is his being able to provide and provide well and enough for his family.

The man-woman clash is caused by the male’s skewed sense of himself, his virility that makes not a sensible sense to the other sex. Mariana has a husband who has no ambitions, who never makes efforts to alleviate them from their stark poverty. Her natural circumstances largely determine her character, thus her story, thus her destiny.

Mariana: You men can talk because you don’t have to bear children. You cowards!
Victor: Shut up!
Mariana: Go away from me! Go away from me! Get out! Get out! Leave me alone!
(Victor goes out…She goes to the kitchen and comes back with the basket of vegetables and throws everything out of the window. Ramir barks.)
Mariana: Shut up, you miserable dog! (Pauses) Ramir—ah yes, Ramir. Now I know what to do.
(She goes to the kitchen and returns with a huge kitchen knife. Kicking the scattered tin plates on her way, she crosses to the room to the right exit.)

Enclosed in a strongly patriarchal structure, Mariana cannot just achieve her full potential as a person, much more a moral agent who strives to do what is right, or morally upright. Though she consciously takes chances and risks to change her husband’s disposition, she fails. In the process she loses herself. And in the end, she loses her self.

Mariana: here, Ramir. Come, come, Ramir. Come. Victor loves you very much. Perhaps more than he loves me. Come, Ramir. Do you see this knife? (The dog growls.) I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you, Ramir. I’ll slit your throat and drink your blood and cut you to pieces and stew you and eat you. Damn you, Victor. Damn this child. Damn everything. I’ll kill you, Ramir. (Final yelp.) I’ll cook you and eat you and eat you and eat you! Uhu! Uhu! Uhu! (And for the first time, Mariana cries.)

Very well, both texts highlight that the woman problem can never be solved because the unrelenting male sensibility will perennially make ways—consciously or otherwise—to suppress it, and make it realize its own insignificance, its unimportance.

Man [read: man and woman] is said to be the victim of conflicting desires, and the strongest of them, like his desire for a member of the opposite sex, are irrational and yet stronger than reason. He despises himself for not being able to cease desiring what he also hates (Krutch, 1953). Such generalization rings true in these two characters. Miss Julie obviously cannot do away with her desire for her father’s footman. So she desires him incessantly, while she also abhors his sex because she has been taught by her mother to hate men. This puts her in an irrevocable dilemma from which she could hardly get out one piece. Mariana, meanwhile, is a female sensibility which unconsciously or unknowingly brings upon herself her own ruin. The moment she decided to elope with a good looking animal named Victor instead of finishing her college course, she already degraded herself inasmuch as she belonged to a society where poverty defines the majority of its constituent. When she yielded to Victor’s virility and sex, she also stole from herself the right to a better status in an even more male-dictated society.

The essence of man’s tragic dilemma is that there is no rational—only an irrational solution of this dilemma (Krutch, 1953). Highlighted by the two tragic women characters and their sorry plights, the two works pursue a naturalistic tragedy that highlights pity, fear, and catharsis. Pity is aroused in us by the women’s inherent weaknesses and the social class structures they inhabit. Fear is evoked when we realize that the same fate could overcome any of us.

Both plays highlight the weak woman spirit. The plays enunciate that the woman indeed is a weak species—cloistered in the midst of the male-dominated society. Women are rendered to have tragic lives. Their fate—determined by the egoistic male society where they are situated—or where they are rather placed—is highly predictable. But the fact that these women characters defy such destiny is what makes their lives worth telling. The fact that they defied the boundaries of the oppressive, brusque, virile, and unfeeling patriarchal order—altogether redefines the character of a woman.

In the bigger picture, it is the woman who is put in bad light—or is she? Mariana rebels against the stifling patriarchal structure—antagonizing Victor when she resorts to aborting the second child and hurting his male ego when she kills his pet dog Ramir. Mariana resorts to abortion to spite Victor and perhaps make him aware of his responsibility. By wanting to kill her second child, for they cannot practically feed them well, she would rather redeem him from earthly suffering and damnation. Here the modern woman is one admirable character for she seeks to challenge an otherwise dismal structure that oppresses more her inane existence, and transforms her very sensibilities.

“I told you I didn’t want another child. You broke that bottle but I will look for other means. I’ll starve myself. I’ll jump out of the window. I’ll fall down the stairs,” runs the litany of despair, of Mariana’s exasperated existence as well defined by the male world of Victor’s. This makes clear the nature of woman to liberate herself from the restrictions of the male structure that encloses her—or rather defines her—one that subjects her as a wife or that subjugates her as a woman [secondary or insignificant to man]. Only by rebelling against such dismal structure can the woman afford herself her liberty, her individuality, her self.

In Mike Figgis’s rendition of Strindberg’s masterpiece, Saffron Burrows’ Julie is one unforgettable tragedy in literary and cinema consciousness. Her sexually hungry, angst-ridden female countenance spells the female nature—”vessel and damsel” but defiant and irreverent. She delineates one discontented and disturbing female character, a bored individual whose hollow existence is not compelled or desired but naturally determined. She has been taught by her mother to hold grudges against men; she is a man-hater gone haywire.

Both Julie and Mariana do not recognize the futility of their actions to free themselves from these patriarchal enclosures until they actually succumb to it. In both works, there’s an attempt to define a helpless, ill-fated woman whose existence is hinged on the brusque and indifferent male feeling, the two characters clarify that the patriarchal setups such as family largely determines their very sensibilities. Neither of them triumphs in their attempt to resist the patriarchal vacuum. It sucks up their persons, influences their consciousness, and determines their destinies.






Works Cited and Sources Consulted

Deriada, Leoncio P. The Dog Eaters and Other Plays. Quezon City: New Day Publishers, 1986.

Dickinson, Leo T. A Guide to Literary Study. Fort Worth: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich College Publishers, 1987.

Jurilla, Jonathan P. “Socio-Cultural Conflict Depicted in Selected Short Stories of Leoncio Deriada.” Iloilo City: University of the Philippines in the Visayas, 1996. Undergraduate thesis.

Krutch, Joseph W. Modernism in Modern Drama. New York: Cornell University Press, 1953.

Nato Eligio, Generosa. “Some Recent Writers and The Times: A Socio-Critical Study of Selected Short Stories in English Anthologized in the 1980’s.” Manila: University of Santo Tomas, 1991. Doctoral dissertation.

Picart, Roland M. “Social Commentary in Leoncio P. Deriada’s The Road to Mawab and Other Stories.” Baguio City: Baguio Colleges Foundation, 1986. Graduate thesis.

Rose, Phyllis. Writing of Women: Essays in a Renaissance. Middletown: Wesleyan University Press, 1985.

Szondi, Peter. Theory of the Modern Drama. Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1987.

Memory, all alone in the moonlight


Leoncio P. Deriada, People on Guerrero Street
Seguiban Printers and Publishing House, 2004
Manila Critics Circle's Juan S. Laya Prize for Best Novel, 2004


LEONCIO P. DERIADA’S People on Guerrero Street, the author’s first novel insistently profuse with memory, illustrates that the literary author is predominantly a diarist—one who chronicles his own life and its realities.


Here, the narrator “I” essays in 55 chapter-episodes his experiences with the people of Guerrero Street in the 1950s Davao City. Set in Davao City’s Guerrero Street during the school year 1953–1954 when the author was a junior in Davao City High School, People on Guerrero Street tells a good lot of realities in Davao City at the time.


The narrator’s sensibility appears to be that of a grownup man, cautious and wary of life’s harsh nature and sarcastic and cynical about life’s funny nature.


Reminiscent of J. D. Salinger’s Houden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye, his Deriada’s “I” speaks very cynical against the harsh modern world but promises more hope for himself when after the death of his brother’s brother-in-law Pepe, he realizes he needs to go on—when he sees that the new year beckons for him better and brighter possibilities.


While he displays utter disgust for the usual, inane, unruly or ridiculous behavior of people in his neighborhood, the events happening around him affords for us the culture itself, the society that ridicules and supports him. The narrator “I” makes clear that he yanks away superstition and fake religiosity, as much as he abhors his rivals for his crush.


Through vivid recollection of things past and present—“I” expresses his utter fondness for a male figure, perhaps being with no father figure in the household he is sharing with his brother. Hewing a verbose reportage of events, faces, things, and realities, the novel unfolds before the reader as it unfolds to the eyes and ears of the narrator “I.”


He is also subject to the “immorality” of some other characters—Carna and Luchi, with whom he is oriented to the lascivious characters and tendencies of a woman—while still being able to hold Terry as his chalice, his prized possession.


Yet, Deriada’s piece is more than about teenage puppy love; rather it illustrates a young man’s initiation into the harsh realities of the world, which he is soon facing as an adult. Pepe’s death is the persona’s first encounter with tragedy, virtually the first step in toughening the persona as he faces figurative and real deaths in the immediate future.


In the novel, the treatment of things that happened in the past is equally lengthy—as if the entire purpose of the narrator is to remember everything, and when he does he becomes an anti-character, one whose existence in the novel is questioned because of his very sensibility which sounds like the author’s himself.


Lush with his memorable past, Deriada’s autobiographical tract declares that the author’s memory is worth the beauty rendered in literature. They mirror a beautiful life, something that is full of anticipations, as the “I” narrator’s prospects at the end of People on Guerrero Street.


Here and there awarded for his fiction and outstanding work in other literary genres, Deriada says that many characters in the novel are real people just as many are pure inventions or merely transplanted from other times and other neighborhoods. Regardless of which is real or fictional, he says, these characters all belong to the realities insofar demanded by the novel.


By simple remembering, Deriada employs his memory in including facts into the “fiction.” Maybe, he says he has what is called the photographic memory. “Until now, I have a very clear picture of past incidents in my life, from childhood to the most recent, and Deriada says, “I was born in 1938 but I can remember incidents when I was three. I remember practically everything that happened to my family from the first day of the War [World War I] to the last days of the Japanese in 1945.”


Deriada has perhaps one of the clearest memories—an exceptional ability to remember the past and recollect facts in order to portray significant characters that exist for a purpose. The narrator “I” even remembers words when he encounters images and events which he is narrating. He swings from the present back to the past when some characters remind him of certain things in the past.


Of the book’s creative style, Deriada says the blurring of the boundaries between fact and fiction is [also] necessary in writing an autobiographical or historical novel. The writing must be good if the boundaries between the real and the invented are blurred. A less skilled writer would not be capable of doing so.


Deriada considers that the biographical novelist has to tamper with reality for the sake of fictional reality. He says his remembering of the past was sweeping and holistic, while the parts he needed for the novel he had to choose carefully. At some point, he recognized the need to be factual, and in some instances, he needed to fabricate.


While the girding or the main structure of the novel is factual, inventing or “fabricating” was necessary only when the real past needed the unity demanded of fiction. This fabrication entails tampering with the temporal succession of events, transplanting characters and incidents from other times and neighborhoods and the outright inventing of characters and incidents.


For instance, Deriada recalls fondly, “the big theater production on the college grounds of the Ateneo de Davao was not in 1953 but in 1954. It was in celebration of the International Marian Year,” and even says, “Certainly, Purico’s famous amateur singing derby was called Tawag ng Tanghalan, not Tinig ng Tanghalan.”


Deriada’s freedom to play around with his facts in order to back up his literary purpose—aided him to turn in some durable portraits of people, places, and events,” which can’t be done if it were pure facts alone. Through this, Deriada immortalized his friends, classmates and even loved ones in his works of art.


Deriada shares the sentiment that the “past is distorted,” primarily because it is given existence by memory. “Reality does not have the discipline of fiction. So the writer has to tamper with reality” for them to create his craft.


Of his work, Deriada says he has virtually written his life—with some “beautiful, little lies.”

Naming of Farts

Malou Jacob’s “Anatomiya ng Korupsyon” offers many ways to interpret the social realities in our lives, here rendered as rather bureaucratic and monotonous existence.

Brimming with outstanding acting and internalization, “Anatomiya” is both cynical and realistic. While it looks at the negative aspects of human attitudes and tendencies, it also draws the challenge to the human soul when the corrupt system presents false options for him to act either for the common good or his good alone.

Aptly titled “anatomy”—the play is a naming of farts—as it delineates the stubborn and shady structure—Family Court, a public attorney’s office filled with characters portraying the so many faces of dishonesty, duplicity, and dilemma.

First there is Cely, an idealistic young lawyer who joins Family Court full of hopes and aspirations so she could promulgate the law in the strictest sense, but who later finds herself in a dilemma that will later question her integrity. When we see her hopes are dimmed by the outright corruption involving her officemates, we realize that she is the odd man out, the outsider who stands her ground, who sticks to her principles, even as she juggles work—personal achievement—and her personal life—her ailing mother.

There is also Atty. Ricarte, the head attorney who represents the unscrupulous leadership in the office, a personality which he must have imbibed while working in the corrupt system. When we see him taking part in the pusoy session, we realize that the status quo is indeed dilapidated, a hopeless structure that needs facelift, perhaps much like Virgie’s noselift in her desperate act of vanity.

Interestingly, there’s the clerk Bok who is in charge of publication and every possible obfuscation the word entails. He exemplifies the ideal fixer; as if a matchmaker of other people’s destiny, Bok arranges people’s transactions so that it caters to his kickbacks that can aid his whims and vices. His character is so apparent in real life; and some people really thrive on such setup—he is not much different from T.S. Eliot’s “hollow man,” whose subsistence is all too uncertain since it is hinged on fly-by-night arrangements. His crass loudmouth badmouthing on anything only validates his promiscuity and lack of good breeding.

Aside from the office newcomer Atty. Cely Martinez, we can also consider Charing—the employee who jots down the employees’ DTR—as another catalyst. The rather romanticized malunggay scene between her and Cely provides the anticlimactic effect, especially when she approaches Cely in the forlorn Christmas party, after everyone else has left to prepare for the celebration.

In the end, we can see Charing not at all too calloused just like the others, as she can sympathize with the isolated attorney herself. She illustrates the contrast to the enormous apathetic void that even encroaches on the main character.

The late female employee, for one, also highlights the typical bureaucrat whose existence is hinged on personal interest—it thus proves public service is plain rhetoric. Some greater things like ideals and other abstractions are simply a joke. Everything is reduced to a laughing matter.

In its full regalia of vices and stark lack of virtues, the Family Court office takes pride in its dishonesty; its duplicity in the grandest forms. The so many people who visit the office—with their individual and dismal issues awaiting delayed resolutions—ironically tell us that the office cannot, if at all, resolve them, to no avail, to no avail.

Anatomiya adds to our sense of cynicism when it portrays the Filipino family in the most correct or realistic way. The “Family Court” spells the bigger irony when the clients—mostly couples are not resolved to get back together. The court office, in all its efforts to settle the individual cases, only witnesses how families disintegrate, as in the case of the separation of conjugal property between the vendor couple, or as it was not able to settle the conflict between the Japanese national and the Pinay prostitute.

The whole set of sensibilities presented in Anatomiya throws into the audience the kind of reality that we rather choose to ignore because it’s undesirable and uncomfortable.

Most important, the controversial file involving the adoption case, which was used by Bok to perpetuate his dishonesty at the expense of Cely and the office itself, blows the top of Cely, especially further when she realizes the judge’s identical double-life in the end.

To Cely, the judge symbolizing the blindfolded lady holding the scales—the icon of justice—is merely a drawing, a caricature drawn in or out of the human’s pathetic tendencies for self-protection.

In other words, jurisprudence becomes a big joke. The ideals about the law by the main character may cease to be—unless she does something about them.

Fanned by Ricarte’s fiery words to eject her from the office, Cely is then pushed to the limits, to the extent that she is also forced to choose between two lesser evils.

Despite the indeterminate ending, we are still convinced that Cely must have gone out of the corrupt system if she were to sustain her character as the catalyst, the stereotype tragic hero who will effect change in a corrupt status quo.

Anatomiya is indeed the naming of farts, the bad parts, the rotten parts of a disintegrating structure that only thrives because the world so desires the unscrupulous, dishonest, and the fraudulent.

If all these so exist in the Philippine government, as one cast member assumed in the forum, then we are all bound to think and identify ourselves clearly with Cely, the self-proclaimed catalyst, the antisocial in that rotting lot.

It proclaims that we are the ones who prophesy our own salvation and redemption. We are the ones that will save our own souls. And the play seems to continually ask us: Who else? Who else?

In all, Anatomiya challenges us continually to keep pace with the signs of the times, be vigilant about them so that when our own dilemma comes, even their most unexpected dismal forms, we are at least prepared to leave our comfort zones if it were for the sake of truth.

Life with America




The music of Dewey Bunnell, Gerry Beckley of the folk group America has affected my sensibility all these years. Playing my copy of their greatest hits has not failed to amaze me and for life, I think, it won’t.

Inspector Mills
The unnamed cricket in this song has been my and Nene’s friend ever since. In the ‘80s, I and Nene had great time listening to such sound when Manoy Awel played the song to lull us to sleep because Mama would arrive later in the night because she still worked in her father’s house that hosted Cursillo classes, a three-day Christian renewal made famous to most Catholics through her father’s and his family’s efforts. What else was there to say? We couldn’t ask for more. It was just fine even if Mother was not there when we slept. We were lulled to sleep in my dear brother’s bed. Though I never saw the cricket in my dreams, I had something else that made me just sleep on it. The cruel nights without Mother were with one tender brother, Manoy Awel.

Special Girl
One particular Jenny would come to mind whenever I played this ballad during my board work as disc jockey in FBN’s DWEB-FM back in 1996. Once I knew one special girl. And I must have played this song many times for her—without her knowing it— without her knowing anything at all. What did I do? As if I could ever tell her anything when we worked together for the English department’s pathetic newsletter. Or that something mattered more than the verses which I’d hand to her after Rudy Alano’s class. In fact, nothing special happened in that lazy afternoon while Enya’s Shepherd Moons played in the DevCom laboratory. How could she ever know?

I Need You
I never liked this song. I never wanted to listen to it; I always skipped this cut. The funeral tempo makes me paler. It embarrasses me to no end. “Like the flower needs the rain... you know I need you.” As the song goes on though, in times when I could not help but not skip a shuffle setup, things start to make sense. The second voice sounds clearer and it’s the one I’d hear. The voice spells my detached involvement in the dismal situation presented by the singer. And the litany of “I” needing “you” simply fades senselessly. After engaging me to listen to one heart’s song, it drops me nowhere. This song is the ugliest in the album.

Sand Man
Since the day my college buddy Arnold Pie sang its lyrics—“Ain’t it foggy outside…” then the mention of the “beer” in the song—which must have reminded him of something in his young drinking life, I became curious about the song. But the slow introduction hasn’t appealed to me much; my illogical prejudice against anything unfamiliar because it’s something Western did not at all help me appreciate the song. One day after we found out ourselves that we’re working again in the same corporate complex in Pasig, I realized we have yet to have these unconsummated “bottley” and bubbly sessions—for some issues in the past that were never addressed, the time when we badly needed each other’s company but never did because we could not. Either we had no time or did have much of it.

You Can Do Magic
When cousins Shiela and Achie mastered the steps and strutted and danced with verve and grace in one of our reunions to the tune of this song, I was amazed by such a spectacle. They even knew the lyrics. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, and “when the rain is beating upon the window pane and when the night [it] gets so cold and when I can’t sleep, again you come to me, I hold you tight [and] the rain disappears; who would believe it? With a word, you dry my tear… You can do magic… You can have anything that you desire…” The show of my cousins just went on, and it’s still going. Now, the London-based Achie, an overseas nurse, just cannot help but do magic with her work; all her toil and diligence are simply paying off. Her generous earnings now can indeed help her have anything that she and her folks desire—new car, new house in the city, and hundreds of euro-pean possibilities for her siblings.

Right Before Your Eyes
My cousin Jokoy—who has adored anything Western from Vanilla Ice to HBO to Michael J. Fox to Sean Connery—knows the lyrics by heart, or at least the “revolving doors” part. We used to listen to it in Bong’s room in Naga, which he then acquired when his Ania Bong went to Manila. Of course, the Life pictures of Rudolph Valentino flashed in my mind, and Greta Garbo stared at me like there’s no tomorrow—a haunting photograph of one celebrity whom I hardly met. I scowl at the thought that I could hardly relate to them. I have yet to live a diamond life like them to simply live. Though no other memory follows, “do- do-do-do-do makes much sense. And emotion? Er.

A Horse With No Name
Effortlessly, I imagine the Assembly Hall of my Ateneo High School, where I picture the city, the sea, and the horse finding itself after being freed by the person who rode him. The original radio version—and not the live version—renders more sensibility. I also sing along this one of the longest codas to date—la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la” “After nine days, I let the horse run free ‘cause the desert has turned to sea.” There were plants and birds and rocks and things…” and many other things. I have yet to see these hundreds of things which I have long thought as an overachiever in high school. I have yet to free my own horse, though my deserts have long become oceans of uncertainties.

Never Be Lonely
This is my recent favorite—my pirated anthology is a rare find because it has this cut. When I was younger, this was hardly played over the local FM radio stations. My cousins who had the LP because their father was an avid fan would know better. “Got you by my side, I’d never be lonely; got you by my side, I’d never be afraid.” Never be lonely tells me that I am. I even once sang along accidentally, “Got you by my side, I’d rather be afraid.” This after realizing many times how relationship with someone makes you feel more alone than being literally alone. The song is a futile attempt to avoid being sucked into an emotional vacuum.

Tin Man
The impressive introduction plus the cool mumbling of brilliant lyrics prods this genius composition. Of course, I hardly knew the lyrics especially—tropic of Sir Galahad, soap sud green light bubbles, oh, oh… Oz never did nothing to the tin man”—“ but the tempo, the music is enough for me to like it. And adore anything that went with it, including all subconscious memory it reminds me. The bubbly keyboards at the last part— plus the na na na na na simply define how life is beautiful. Yes. It’s amazing how ignorance [of the lyrics, of artist’s realities] makes you know too much [of your own, which are more essential things].

Sometimes Lovers
“Sometimes there are teardrops across your face; sometimes there are rainbows in the same place… I don’t which way to turn.” “Lovers hiding in the covers of innocence and pain. No love, no pity in this town.” Of course, Jokoy always festered me with this relationship with Anna, one that mattered to him more because he did not like her for me. Or he preferred other girls for me. This sad song is sadder because I just cannot seem to relate to it because a certain Maria cannot just be it. After hurling the worst and best curses and cusswords in the world which tore both our hearts because they were swords that lashed out at our souls, nothing just seemed to matter more but ourselves apart, not ourselves together. The bridge—hold on tight… oh, oh, oh—makes everything more intense—“I will lay beside you till the night is gone…” when? When? When? Sometimes, indeed the song makes you think of many other things, such as not being able to forgive yourself for anything you’ve done. And you just stop loving. You stop caring for anything. Something just dies. Something just happens abruptly as the final beat of the drum.

Daisy Jane
The plane is leaving. My Dulce Maria knows the setting so well. The lyrics she even braved to articulate to me and relished with me because she liked the song so well. And I think they were accurate, every time she’d leave me in this sordid city for her cozy Iloilo home. “Does she really love me I think she does. Like the stars above me, I know because...” There’s not much to say on these, because she’d left me many times in the airport. “But the clouds are clear and I think we’re over the storm…” And I just gave in many times that I have gotten used to I see her off every time she did. One time I did not. I did not choose to. I had reasons and I did something else after that. “Daisy I think I’m sane. And I guess you’re ready to play.” I did something that indeed made her leave. Since then, she has always left me every time.

Don’t Cross The River
Yes, I can hear the river; it’s burbling; and I can’t help but row on it. “There’s a little girl out lying on her own, she’s got a broken heart.” “She knows and plays it smart.” The drums and the guitars are the water streaming down the gorge so fast—in cadence with my heart—racing past something like a void, racing past a cracked rock serving no definite purpose comes any tide— high or low. I have always raced with something— perhaps a memory all the time. But never the present reality. The past always has a way to catch up with me. And I am always sinking, but I keep on singing, “don’t cross the river if you cant swim the tide…”

Ventura Highway
The road that one man traveled was paved and the day before him was too long—the sun stood long hours. The freeway was a winding road, a blind curve. Later that day he was killed around the bend. It was a wrong turn. He never came back. Where did he have to go? After all the numerous places I traveled and chose to travel, I have yet to see this one highway. After all those persons I have been given chances to meet, I have yet to find someone important who will have to make me see. Whatever happened to the father whom I never had, the one who would have rather told me that I can “change my name,” or the one with whom I can share some “alligator lizards in the air”? I have yet to meet him. One fine, long day.

Lonely People
The guitar introduction thrills me to no end. The low vocals—“this is for all the lonely people, thinking that life has passed them by”—never allowed me to know why I was literally lonely in those days after my mother died. I desperately listened to it in the afternoons when I was jobless and desperately seeking any work that would pay—after my scholarship’s graduation stipend were depleted, spent for mailing my essays and poems to Manila-based magazines, that never even saw much publication. Writing never did pay, and that time I hardly knew that it didn’t or that it could. “This is for all the single people, thinking that love has left them dry.” Yeah. What could be more heart-wrenching than being ignored by one Anna who could hardly care about how I chaliced her. Nothing follows. The guitars, keyboard, and the dismal vocals just had to fade. Please.

Muskrat Love, etc.
Unimaginable characters which could have just existed in my mind—never a reality—thus the vague memory. Does the character look like Stuart Little? Ben? Why is Sam skinny? Is Susie fat? Does it matter if she is? For one, I can’t care much. I can hardly relate. My other favorites “Stereo,” and “The Border” are not in my disc while “Jody” “Only In Your Heart,” “Sister Golden Hair,” “Woman Tonight,” and “You, Girl” have yet to present my own realities to me, if any.


Dakulang Kalugihan

Or How Memories Are Lost Or Stolen Because They Aren't Made in the First Place Dakul an kalugihán kan mga estudyante nin huli kan pandem...