Ribu ribong dagom an duros ngonyan na aga.

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For Emma, who loved so much

I hate to leave really.
But I should go home tonight.

Tomorrow  I will build a house
by the forest near the sea
where I alone
can hear my silence.

For it, I gathered six palm trees
stronger than me, to become
the pillars, firm foundations
of my tranquil days to come
which I will not anymore hear.

I know the trees are good
for they survived many typhoons in the past
which uprooted many others
and which made others bend,
and die.

I hope they become bright lamps
along the black road
where I will pass through
when I go home tonight.

I hope they’d be there
and that they would recognize me.
And if they don’t, it wouldn’t matter.
I would not want any trees other than them.
For I know they are very good.

But tonight, please
let them be
my warm candles.

And when I’m home
I will be certain:
Tomorrow, I will have built a house
in the forest near the sea where
Every palm tree can hear his silence. 

And the others can listen.


"The Sea House"
Philippine Graphic Weekly
November 1996

The Touched Life

By David Ray
1969


The touched life
gives up dignity,
cries aloud in public,
gets down on the floor
with the children of light
and of darkness,
weeps openly
or in secret,
yearns for a face
that is gone or
a face in the mirror,
defends the assassin,
sees only glory,
sees no end
to the suffering,
no opening up,
no gifts coming                                                        "The Scream,"  1893
finds meaning in wheat,                                            by Edvard Munch [1863-1944],
mostly isn’t wanted,                                                 European expressionist painter
is victim to anything
a cow, a wooden bucket,
can stand in the doorway
and gawk,
weeps at bikes leaning
together, scrawls notes
madly, shoves them
into books,
is lunatic, wonders
which will come first
the collapse of
capitalism or the emancipation
of man,
can be a gatekeeper,
can paint plates,
can hear the terrible meanings
go on speaking
can stand offering spirit,
saying would do anything for—
and what do we do
how do we pay back
the touched life
that spirit pure
as the baby rabbit—
with bars across the road
slaps across the face
by edict saying
it shall not happen
this miracle of
human closeness.

Paggisa Nin Tiniktik with Some Garnish

Gisahon mo an bawang, sibulyas, kamatis; later, ilaag mo na an perang patos na tiniktik fresh from the talipapa. Just a pinch of salt lang ta may asin-dagat pa baga an talaba—iyan an mapahamot kan saimong obra-kusina pag nag-alusuos na. La’ganan mo nin two cups of water, tapos alalay lang an kalayo, low fire lang ba? Takupan ta nganing dai mag-evaporate an sustansya. Pakala-kagaon mo ta nganing maluto an tiniktik. Simmer for a while, mga three minutes or less, depende sa dakul kan nasabing seashells. After that, puwede mo nang ilaag an berdura. Or kangkong can do. Pero garo awkward siya kun la’ganan mong pechay o patatas—bako man kaya ning menudo o pochero. Dai mo bitsinan tanganing wholesome siya—maski siisay na bisita, health-conscious o boy scout, puwedeng maka-free taste. Pag pigluwag mo na an saimong ginisa and serve it with some steaming hot rice, in fairness, sa dapog pupuroton an sinasabi nindang fine dining.

Ateneo Serrado

            Serrado an Ateneo pag-abot mo. Mayong tawo. An guardia sa tarangkahan dai mo bisto. Mabisita ka sa sarong pading dai nag-uli pag bakasyon. Pero mayo daa siya. Pero pinadagos ka.

             Hali sa guardhouse nahiling mo an Four Pillars may bago nang pintura. Nagduwaduwa kang maglaog ta garo dai mo aram kun Ateneo man nanggad an linaogan mo. Pininturahan ni nin kolor na garo man lang bagong shopping mall sa Centro. Nagimatan mo na kayang kupas an pintura kan Four Pillars kaya nataka ka kan nahiling mo.

            Saboot mo tapos na man nanggad an mga aldaw kun kansuarin sa façade kan eskwelahan na ini, nagparasad-pasad an magagayon na coed na pencil-cut an mga palda—yaon ka duman sa hagyanan kairiba si Emil, Bong sagkod Gerry, iniiriskoran pa nindo an magagayon na nag-aaragi.

            Nagsalingoy ka sa wala. Mayo na an soccer field kun saen kamo nagkaramang sa carabao grass ta may nagpasaway na parehong kadete sa Delta Platoon. An Xavier Hall na dati wooden building pa kaidto na dati man na SIO (Social Integration Office) saro nang konkretong edipisyo. Dai mo na mahiling an Pillars Office kun saen mo pigmakinilya sa bukbukon nang Olympia an enot mong love letter ki Jenny. Huli ta bago, dai mo na ni nabisto.
 
            Nagsalingoy ka sa tuo. Mayo na an mahiwas na grounds kun saen kamo naggiribo nin Belen para ilaban sa Pintakasi. Sa may batibot na ito nabisto mo si Lani, kaklase mo sa Sociology ki Nong Fernandez. Tapos na an Pintakasi kaidto pero dai mo pa nalingawan si mahamison na huyom kan Miss Irigang ini. Totoo man nanggad an cultural myth na pinag-adalan nindo sa subject na ito. Dai pa natapos an semester kadto naprobaran mo na tulos kun ta’no ta an Iriga pamoso sa mga aswang—pirang banggi kang dinuno kan sarong kagayunan na Lani an pangaran. Haen na man daw siya ngonyan?

            Naglakaw-lakaw ka. Nagsara-salingoy.

            Haen na an gym? A, natahuban na palan kan Xavier Hall Building na bago. Dai mo na tulos nahiling an Blue Knight sa letrang A na enot mong nahiling kan nagpila ka para mag-exam sa First Year High School beinte anyos na an nakakaagi. Pagbalik mo pag-ralaogan, ogmahon kang maray kan mabasa mo na an ngaran mo sa lista kan LG 12.

            Mayo ka pang kabisto kaidto kaya pagtingag mo sa façade kan building, nahiling mo an Blue Knight na nakasakay sa kabayo. Hiya! Maski sa kabayo saboot mo masakay ka makauli lang tulos sa Bagacay—iiistorya mo ki Mama mo an marahay-rahay na bareta ito.

            Tinahuban na palan kan Xavier Hall Building na bago. Dai mo na mahiling si Blue Knight na tiningag mo kaidto.

            Mayo na an dating Ateneo de Naga. Sarong aldaw pagbisita mo, dai mo na ‘ni naabutan. Marayo na sinda. Mayo ka nang mabisto digdi. Dai ka na madagos sa laog. Tibaad ka kaya maanayo. Malakaw ka na lang pabalik sa Avenue.

            “Tapos na ang maliligayang araw,” sabi ninda ngani kaiyan. Tibaad an Golden Age kan Ateneo de Naga nakaagi man nanggad na. An Four Pillars Lucky Fortune Hotel an pintura.

            Maraot man nanggad daw na magsangli nin itsura an Ateneo—na an Ateneo magbago?

            Bako daw an Ateneo bako man sanang sarong edipisyo? Bako daw an sinasabing Ateneo ika mismo—an tawong naglaog sa antigong edipisyong ini? Tibaad ika man nanggad an makaluma— habong magsangli, habong magbago.

            Dai man daw an ngaran mo—Ateneo Serrado?